When Father was teaching me to Rest, He actually told me to sit still for long periods and do nothing. It was hard. I felt condemnation. Lazy was a word that kept popping into my head. It was even somewhat frightening. Which is weird. Silence is frightening. It’s hard to face it alone. And the drive to do something all the time is insistent. I’m responsible for stuff and people. I can’t leave them unattended.
Apparently, I was taught thoroughly that “idle hands are the devil’s workshop”. And it was so ingrained that I didn’t know how to stop doing it easily. Quickly I saw how my enemy was keeping me from being much of a threat simply by keeping me busy. And Father wanted to make Rest a foundation in my life. Breaking off that busy constancy required sitting, staring it down, without a book in my hand, without a hobby before me, without the computer, and without a companion. Continue reading TEACHING ME TO REST
Years ago, I got a new job that required I walk through a scary building twice a day. It was a security check. And it was part of my job.
Light bulbs had burned out in most of the building, so it was pitch black in the hallways. I submitted an order for them to be changed but that took a few days. In the meantime, I had to go through the building.
Friends said I should skip it until the lights were fixed. But I was compelled to do my job correctly. I didn’t want fear to victimize me. So, I searched for comfort and protection through memorizing scripture.
I chose: “God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a strong mind” 2 Timothy 1:7. Continue reading The Scary Building
Repeatedly I’ve come to the end of my formulas and doctrines and resorted to the step that never fails me. I cry out, “Help me, Jesus, help me!”.
And He always answers. Always. He has never ignored this cry. It seems similar to a cry King David often made, although not the exact words.
“I cry out to the Lord; I plead for the Lord’s mercy” Psalm 142:1 Continue reading MY SALVATION