Category Archives: loving God


Kings and queens will serve you and care for all your needs. They will bow to the earth before you and lick the dust from your feet. Then you will know that I am the LORD. Those who trust in me will never be put to shame.” (Isaiah 49:23)

This verse prompted me to say it out loud several times over the course of a couple of days period.  Then I saw it differently than I’ve ever seen it before. Continue reading KINGS WILL SERVE YOU!

The Comedy of My Learning

Lots of my friends are leaving Facebook and I’ve been reading their reasons.  One concern is about intellectual property rights and whether material we post on Facebook belongs to us or them. As a writer, that leaves enough question in the air to make me uncomfortable.  Yes, I write freely for everyone to read, but that shouldn’t make it someone else’s property. Continue reading The Comedy of My Learning

Healing With Liquid Gold

And He said,

“Let me elaborate.”  To which my heart sighed in relief because I couldn’t understand alone.

“When you realized there was a hole, so to speak, in your husband’s armor, you saw a small piece of damage which left an open door to sickness.  It was there because of a previous situation in his life; one from his childhood; one he doesn’t remember.  Ministries have risen and died over this problem and the search for its solution. Great amounts of money have been poured into these holes and the resolutions have often been minor, at best.  You have witnessed this and wondered at the millions of souls chasing healing for wounds that don’t heal simply.  And yet, the solution is rather simple.  Come let me show you.” Continue reading Healing With Liquid Gold

Hearing God’s Voice

Watching a show about hearing impairment opened my eyes to a spiritual reality regarding hearing God’s voice.   Without hearing Father’s voice, we struggle through life misunderstanding context, meaning, and purpose much the same as a hearing impaired person struggles.

The Cochlear implant device creates hearing and when the device is turned on for the first time, reactions are profound.  Sound conveys more than words.  It conveys heart.

We cannot convey heart inside written word alone.  Words are one-dimensional, emotionless and heartless.  We, as authors, search for ways to incorporate the missing emotion through descriptive words, but can never truly touch the depth of a sob, a sigh, or exhilaration expressed in a voice.

Ironically, in 150 years, we created an icon of one-dimensional depth as our sole identity in Christ when we lifted the Bible high upon a pedestal and made personal communication with our Creator secondary.  Though His voice was the force that carried Faith since the beginning of time when Bibles were not available, we have, in modern times began to consider that hearing the voice of God is mystical.

But the written word is not Salvation.  It’s the voice of God our heart hears when we read the Word.    It becomes a spoken Word our heart can hear.

I believe they heard His voice better in the dark ages than we do now because it was their only source; a complete source.  It guided them in the moment and touched their hearts.  They had no Bibles.

Mankind came into the enlightened age and created a book where we could base our Faith  We learned to learn on it to prove our Faith.

This is my opinion of course, but ask yourself, if all Bibles were erased off the Earth, would most of Christianity stand firmly in their Faith?  What would be their basis?

Please understand, I love my Bible.  But I love Father’s voice even more.

It is His voice communicating clearly to our hearts that saves our souls and frees our minds to join Him where He leads.  Even when we read it, it is the voice to our heart that saves us.  It is truly the person of Father, that sets our hearts on fire and fills us to overflowing with Himself.

Recently we discovered that ‘speaking’ carries a degree of power.   It’s how Father formed creation.  However, we stumble a bit when our declaring and decreeing only manifests some of what we say.  But we are learning.

We forget sometimes about the effect voice has on the Heart.

When we hear Father’s voice, His inflection, His Love; our hearts change.  New aspects are born.

Communication must touch the heart or it isn’t communicating.

We must hear His heart.  Then speak from ours (where His resides).  Voice changes everything.


I made a drawing of a staircase I saw in my imagination a few years ago.  It doesn’t do the staircase justice of course.  And that’s because it doesn’t reveal the silky medium caramel color of the wood with its swirling grain.  Or the carved and perfectly fitted parts.  A drawing can’t share how velvety the staircase is to touch or how inviting it is to a barefoot or tired bum.  And the drawing doesn’t have all the many cupboards, some secret, which create the fascinating journey upward.

But if I could take you inside my imagination, you’d see and understand how it might take a week to finally arrive at the top landing.  Not because it is so high, but because there’s a world inside each captivating crevasse and hidden compartment.  And you’d be drawn to recline in the seat and turn on the light.  There you’d lean back and read one of the books, or close your eyes and nap.  I imagine fairy tale worlds emerge in naps taken there.

Next, you’d peruse the chest and leaf through and dream again.  And the thought of ever leaving the staircase would be dreaded.

A few years after I saw this compelling staircase and marveled at it, Father said it was an allegory of my journey with Him. The slow, pleasurable ascension, the countless hidden treasures along the way, and the comfort of absorbing His trove of great price.

I never want to leave this journey.  The fulfillment is not in reaching the top but at every step along the way.


“Oh, that I could climb the stairs and sit with you. To study your messages and ponder your thoughts.  I would linger for hours and never rise for food or drink because your Words fill me full.”




me at rest



When Father was teaching me to Rest, He actually told me to sit still for long periods and do nothing.  It was hard. I felt condemnation.  Lazy was a word that kept popping into my head.  It was even somewhat frightening. Which is weird. Silence is frightening. It’s hard to face it alone.  And the drive to do something all the time is insistent. I’m responsible for stuff and people. I can’t leave them unattended.

Apparently, I was taught thoroughly that “idle hands are the devil’s workshop”. And it was so ingrained that I didn’t know how to stop doing it easily.  Quickly I saw how my enemy was keeping me from being much of a threat simply by keeping me busy. And Father wanted to make Rest a foundation in my life.  Breaking off that busy constancy required sitting, staring it down, without a book in my hand, without a hobby before me, without the computer, and without a companion.

The Rest that Father talks about, of course, doesn’t mean sitting still, it is a place inside our spirit.  We can be very busy and still be at Rest.  But if we haven’t experienced Rest, and what it feels like, it may require some drastic measures to experience it.

I sat a lot for about a year and it was pure torture sometimes.  But when I finally began to enjoy Rest unconditionally, then He moved me back into busyness but told me to take Rest with me.

That transition was interesting too.  Even though I’m very busy a lot of the time, I know immediately when I’m losing Rest.  And I stop for a moment, or many moments until I’m back inside it.

All the promises of God are inside His Rest and if we don’t know Rest intimately, then all our busyness will not help us acquire those promises.


My Little Book Revealed

Recently, I ran across a little book I wrote 20 years ago which I had named “Sometimes God Works Backwards”.  It reopened some not-so-happy memories about a brother’s attempt to bring me in front of a group for reprimand.  That group was never convened because the others saw my story as a testimony, albeit extremely controversial one.  Therefore, they advised me to keep it to myself, and not share it further, which I have done.

My trials and heartaches had miraculous results at the hand of God and I’d been inspired to share it.  However, the story exposed my past which angered this brother.  I was a PK (preacher’s kid) and he’d known my folks intimately and loved and respected them greatly.  But after they passed I had gone searching for answers no one was ever able to give me.   Questions like: why are Christians afraid of Satan if God is so powerful; and how can Satan deceive someone against their will, . . . among others.  My searching lead me into Astrology and Witchcraft, and away from the ‘safety of church life’ for several years.  And this brother was appalled.  Regardless of the overcoming victories that had ensued, he was sure I must need deliverance, or at the least a severe reprimand in recompense for disrespecting my parent’s good name.

This little book also revealed after only the 1st chapter, how much I’ve changed.

I had laid the blame for my trials and heartaches squarely at the feet of my searching and the overcoming victories were credited to my return to the Lord.  I explained this context with heavy lines like “God has rules we can’t break without consequences.”

Since then I’ve heard Father and He said, “Witchcraft was not the reason your life fell apart – and you should stop saying you turned away from Me because I don’t remember that.   It was doctrine you tested by your search.  Not Me.  I was still there.  But because of that doctrine, you thought I no longer saw you as a follower.  Instead, I saw your heart.  Your searching was not angry, rebellious or rejecting toward Me.”

After several years of searching, I had spiraled downward for lack of Love – His Love.  In my ignorance, I hadn’t continued my relationship with Him.  I’d stopped talking to Him.  But at my worst moment I turned to Him and asked for help, and He gave me complete restoration and healed my heart through a supernatural portal.

I learned finally, the thing that’s wrong with witchcraft is the same thing that’s wrong with much of Christianity – absence of a relationship with God.  It is the one thing He wants – relationship- and anything that keeps us from it is damaging, destructive and will eventually kill us.  We were made for that relationship.  Without it, we die.

The simple explanation of what sin is – it’s absence of a relationship with God.  It is the one thing we can point our finger at and remain always correct.  We can’t always point to any other specific act and make that statement ‘this is sin’ and always be correct.  Doctrine has tried.   But it only succeeds in legislating the heart with all its rules thereby causing ghastly injustices in the name of God.  Righteous judgment and truth can only come from the Spirit of God addressing an individual relationship.  Righteousness (rightness) is ONLY inside that Spirit, inside that heart, that relationship.

I uncovered the deceptive doctrine, the lie that I was separated from my Father God because I touched unclean things. And that doctrine was substantiated by witchcraft because they too had been sold the lie.

This revelation was hidden from me for 20 years, but Father has reminded me of the miraculous, supernatural experiences.  So, I may re-work that little book someday.  And I know some will reject it still and be angry about it.  Or I may keep it as it is.  It’s a great reminder of where I was.

Recently, I was told to remember not to cast my pearls before the swine or they will turn and trample me.  But I also remember there is a time for everything under Heaven.

I believe this is the time of the revealing of the Kingdom of God which is already coming to Earth.

“Arise [from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept you—rise to a new life]! Shine (be radiant with the glory of the Lord), for your light, has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you!”

Rippled Water




I turned to Jesus because my heart was breaking.  He came immediately and cupped my teary-eyed face in His hands and touched my cheeks with His lips.  Then He embraced me and nuzzled His face into my shoulder.  I could feel His breath against my neck, warm, comforting.

I breathed of Him deeply and asked, “Is there something wrong with me?  My heart is too fragile.”

He again held my face in His hands and looked into my eyes speaking in tongues which I didn’t understand. But it felt like He was instructing my spirit in a way that it would understand.

Then He slipped His arm around my waist and led me through crunching leaves to a dry wooden bench beside a still lake.  And we sat down under rusty colored trees.  He picked up a pebble and skipped it across the glassy water and each skip touched the surface, creating ripples.  He continued speaking softly in tongues which I began to understand in my heart.

“Words spoken out of disunity are moments empty of Love.  They break the peace in your soul like the pebble broke the surface of the water.  Sometimes those words are spoken repeatedly when people are intent on asserting a conviction of faith and continue to belabor a subject.  This breaks the glassy surface like the pebble skipping.  But have patience, my Love.  The water is deep and the pebble will sink.  The ripples will fade and die.  The lake is not damaged in the end but returns to its silken peace.  This is your heart.  Its depth is full and will nourish Life for a long time to come.”



How can we be Christian and see only death, despair and destruction all around us? How can we?

Christ is Life, He is rebirth, and He is redemption. Have we forgotten? Do we look at a cocoon and not see the butterfly emerging? Do we panic and say “what horrible end is coming – the cocoon is dying?” Do we stare in disbelief and pray and plead with God to save the cocoon?

“Long Live the cocoon! Allegiance to the cocoon! Look at the cocoon’s glorious beginning! If only we could take the cocoon back to the beginning?”

Do we find someone to blame for the cocoon’s demise? And then disrespect and slander them mercilessly?

Can’t we see the butterfly? She will soar in the freedom of flight. She will flutter in a miraculous display of color.

Can’t we see the butterfly? She is right there, emerging from the dying cocoon.


This is so, so amazingly easy! I’ve worked hard at jobs, at home, at relationships, at conversations . . . at almost anything. I’ve thought maybe I don’t know how to relax because I sit down to relax and think of a million things I should do.

Even at vacation, we try to squeeze in too much.

So, I was thinking I have a problem . . . until today when I realized what my relaxation consists of doing. It’s my time with God.

Some people think that is difficult and are surprised at me. They ask, “How do you do it?” And I say, “Do what?”  Then they ask, “How do you know so much about God?” And I stare back because I don’t understand why they think it’s so hard.

Today, I found a way to compare it to a universal activity everyone knows. A puppy. When we look at a puppy, it’s impossible not to adore him.  Those sweet eyes and soft fur . . . well, in a moment we melt under those wet kisses and slide to the floor in positions we would normally consider embarrassing. But not when there’s a puppy.

That is how hard it is to spend time with God. That is how hard it is to learn about Him.  When I think about sitting with Him . . . ahh, it’s better than a chaise lounge on the beach with an umbrella and raspberry ice tea. But it’s more.  Usually, within a few minutes He says something or shows me something in a way that is wonderfully thrilling, and I am full of happiness.

There was a time when He first started spilling this wonderful-ness into our time together, that the overwhelming excitement became too much.  It began to hurt; to feel like I would virtually explode. And I had to ask Him to stop. Just for a moment. I couldn’t contain it.

Then He told me to stop holding it inside. That was the key; to let it out. To write it, sing it, talk about it. But not hold it inside. We can’t bear it. He’s more Joy than we’ve ever known as human beings. And when we let it flow thru us like a river, it works. But if we dam a river, it must have an outlet. Once I began letting it flow, I could keep filling. It’s that simple.

I heard a sincere gentleman talking about the Bible the other day and he was saying some super deep stuff about revelations. After a while, I had to stop listening.  It was exhausting and . . . frankly, no fun.  Please know that I don’t think it’s wrong to study deeply. Maybe it was thrilling for him. And that’s great. But God has told me some pretty awesome, deep revelations too. And, it was so much easier on me to get them directly from Him.  He never makes it hard work.

But when I try to explain the things God has told me, it seems hard for others to understand sometimes – just like things this man was talking about seemed hard to me.

Jesus said “my yoke is easy and my burden, light” and if it seems hard to you, then it’s time to step into the river. It’s wonderful there. You can stay as long as you want. It won’t cost you a thing – He already paid the price. And when you’re ready . . . He’ll tell you something you never knew. Watch out! It will be wonderful!