Category Archives: peaceful maturity

ONE WAY MY SPIRIT MESSAGES COME

messages

 

I’d like to share with you one of the ways Spirit messages come to me from Father.  He has many ways, but one He has used often is an “impending” feeling that won’t leave me. As though something is hovering over my head and heart.  It’s similar to a person standing at the front door waiting for me to come and open.

 

Father is a gentleman.  He isn’t rude and intrusive.  And He often treats me with the same kind of respect that I approach Him.  He knocks and waits for an invitation to speak.

Often the sensation is so strong that I can’t continue whatever chore or task I’m in the process of doing because the sensation doesn’t go away. That doesn’t mean that it can’t go away. It can. I used to walk away from it because I didn’t know what it was and I misunderstood it as a sort-of anxiety. But it’s not anxiety at all.

It’s more aptly described as a “visitation”.

 

Another description of this experience is that it’s similar to receiving a beautifully wrapped gift. As the gift sets in front of me unwrapped, my spirit soars in anticipation.

Except this anticipation becomes intense as though it is vibrating or humming. And it gets even more intense as I begin to pay attention to it. Sometimes it weighs so heavy that it feels like it’s pressing on my lungs and I labor under it, eventually to the point that becomes a bit painful to bear.  Like a water balloon that keeps getting more and more full, eventually, the weight feels as though it will explode.

 

weight

 

Sometimes I go into my bedroom and shut the door or sit in a quiet room of the house. And if He doesn’t automatically begin speaking soon, I’ll say, “Do you have something to tell me? I’m listening.” (Like Samuel did as a child in the temple when God kept calling his name in the night.)

I open and release my imagination screen for His use because He often illustrates what He’s saying through a vision-like picture/video.  His illustrations add detail to His Words and I crave every piece of my gift like the icing flower on a cake.

 

Whatever begins playing in my imagination, I let it freely express.  My hands are off.  No censor here.  And even if it gets wild and beyond my expectations, I let it play because this is Him.  Not me.

Sometimes the messages are very personal and weighty like when they speak to my destiny or purpose. Those are definitely not something I share with others. (Don’t throw your pearls before the swine). These are treasures to be kept in my spirit, possibly noted in my Journal, but guarded highly. And that’s not to say that others are swine, lol. It’s simply that no one can value it or respect it like I do because it’s not theirs.

There are also messages that come for others. They are usually encouragement and confirmation. And those are for sharing freely.

Thank you for joining me on my journey.  I hope it is a blessing to yours.

Faith.

ECLIPSE OF THE SON?

eclipse

 

I’ve seen the eclipse of the Son, and no, I didn’t mean to say the sun. Although, I saw that one too and it was certainly a good physical example of a common spiritual circumstance.

I sat and watched as the sun was slowly obliterated by the intrusion of the moon and it reminded me of those moments in life when darkness creeps in and I can’t see the Light of Jesus.

It doesn’t mean I’ve stopped believing or lost my way, or that I’ll never see the Light again.  It means that something is blocking my view.

 

I will see the Son shining again if I patiently endure the darkness for a moment.

Scripture even mentions enduring to the end and I don’t think it’s talking about the literal end of the world.  Although, when darkness covers our lives it can certainly feel like the end of the world sometimes. But it isn’t.

 

An eclipse doesn’t last a lifetime and neither does the darkness. It might feel that way as my world becomes deathly silent and eerie, and frightening.

 

eclipse

 

But if I simply take a cue from how the Earth reacts, I might calmly sit down and join the silence, and wait. It might be the very best response of all.

Because I know that my world will continue turning and eventually the blockage will move.

 

 

I walked through some darkness recently. I also did it a few months ago. And at another time a few months before that.

Each time I felt like crying and panicking. And that’s when it’s easy to see ‘condemnation’ shaking his bony finger at me while his friend ‘blame’ whispers blasphemy in my ear.  Then, of course, there’s ‘desperation’ driving the getaway car with his buddy ‘panic’ in the passenger seat trying to destroy my smallest shreds of peace.

I hate the darkness. I hate it with every ounce of my being. And I won’t tell you that I always handle it perfectly. It’s an ongoing lesson after all these years. My heart still breaks when I’m in the middle of it and the tears still flow freely.

But, I know Jesus never leaves me. Nor is He punishing me. And neither did I do something wrong to deserve this.

 

sun shining

And sometimes it takes me a minute, but eventually, I remember experiences from the past. And I take a step back to consider this enemy.

Darkness is a game of smoke and mirrors that can’t actually extinguish the Light. It can only block my view for a moment. And not even for very long.

But ‘endurance’ is my friend. He’s a blah little guy who doesn’t get a lot of kudos and we think he’s rather annoying. Like ‘patience’, he doesn’t get a lot of love. We try to avoid them both or pretend they don’t exist for our benefit, but honestly, they do an amazing job albeit a difficult one.

They’re like the UPS guy wearing brown and scurrying around too busy to be very friendly. They’re all about the heavy lifting and persevering through the worst kinds of weather. But in their hands are wonderful gifts and exciting surprises that bring joy and comfort.

 

endure patiently

I try to remember to appreciate ‘endurance’. And to look forward to the gift he’s bringing. In the end, it will most surely make me rejoice that Father made this day for me.

 

 

I will always see the Son again when He bursts forth like that diamond ring effect at the moment darkness loses its place. The birds will sing once more and paradise will be evident again.

And that is what I learned from the eclipse.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. I’m sending blessings of love to accompany you on yours.

Faith

WILL I OFFEND SOMEONE? CAN’T I WRITE ANYMORE?

 

silent man

 

I was working on a couple of my new books last night when fear attacked me. It said, “Will I offend someone? Can’t I write anymore?”

I smiled, cocked my head, and I chalked this up to another piece of information. The spirit of offense wants me to be silent.

 

You see, I received an explosion from an offended group a few days ago.  I thought they were close friends and I had no idea what I’d written would offend them. Continue reading WILL I OFFEND SOMEONE? CAN’T I WRITE ANYMORE?

I’M ON A DIFFERENT PATH

different path

 

 

It’s sometimes difficult for me to scroll through my Facebook feed because it’s painfully obvious that I’m on a different path than most of my friends.  And they are people I love.

So, here I am, always sitting on my own rock, somewhere off to the side of the beaten path.  I’m staring out over my own private view which is absolutely amazingly beautiful. Continue reading I’M ON A DIFFERENT PATH

I LOVE YOU, BUT I CAN’T “DO” CORPORATE ANYMORE

love alone

 

It was a weird phenomenon I didn’t expect.  A conference of my peers and friends left me at home wondering whether to spend the money to go and be with them?

And I decided the answer was “no”.  Why?  Well, it has little to do with them, of course, and so much to do with me.

I knew there would be corporate worship.  And then teaching time.  All of it would be awesome and rewarding to anyone who went.  Except, probably me.

No, I’m not a hardcore introvert.  I actually have a very extrovert side which loves to engage with people.  I especially love the one-on-one.

But.  And there is a very big “but”.  I can’t do it anymore. Continue reading I LOVE YOU, BUT I CAN’T “DO” CORPORATE ANYMORE

MOMMA’S NOTEBOOK FOR FOLLOWING HOLY SPIRIT

music notebook 2

My Momma had a notebook that assisted her in following Holy Spirit.

She took it to church stuffed with lyrics, choruses, hymns, and worship songs.  Some pages are from old hymnals, but others are typewritten sheets or handwritten scraps on the back of old browned pieces of paper.

You see, Momma played the organ and was often called out of a congregation to play without prior notice.  She didn’t like being Continue reading MOMMA’S NOTEBOOK FOR FOLLOWING HOLY SPIRIT

THE LIMITATIONS OF OUR SIGHT

eyes

 

A few years ago, Father began introducing me to the limitations of our sight. It began with flashes into the heavenly realm.  And moved into full blown visions.

I discovered that I may have been seeing flashes all my life but had learned to shut them off, ignore them, and filter them out of my focus.  It’s a process similar to looking at a fly sitting on a window.  Our eyes will adjust to the fly and filter out the view outside the window.  It’s the same process with camera lenses.  We can blur the background so much that it almost completely disappears.

As we filter out input year after year, it becomes second nature.  We don’t realize we’re doing it anymore.  So, when our relationship with Father grows, and we want to see more of what He sees, we ask for that sight.  And then struggle to receive it.

However, apparently, it isn’t a receiving action we desire, but a re-training of a lifelong habit. Continue reading THE LIMITATIONS OF OUR SIGHT

SHE LAUGHED AT ME!

laughing

 

 

Yep, it’s true … someone laughed at me.  On my birthday no less! Even during my birthday celebration! A friend picked out one of my character traits and laughed.

And I laughed too.  It’s what you do.

 

 

Later, when the party was over and quiet time came, there was still a tiny arrow stuck in my heart and I contemplated it.  Then I asked Father about tiny arrows. Are we to blame that some stick?  Is it a flaw that this was hurting a bit?  I don’t count myself easily offended.  But am I? Continue reading SHE LAUGHED AT ME!

OUR STAGES OF MATURITY and ELITISM

 

growth

 

There are obvious and not-so-obvious stages of maturity in The Kingdom.  And they cause a lot of friction because we are looking for unity of the faith and expect to see it inside our doctrines.

But that can’t happen when our faith is such a uniquely personal thing to each of us.  After all, we created denominations so that like-minded people would worship together, and still the understanding within each member is different.

No one is the same.  We grow at different rates and in different directions. Continue reading OUR STAGES OF MATURITY and ELITISM

SABBATICAL FROM THE BATTLE

sabbatical

 

 

I had a dream about the aftermath of my battle with religion.

I was in an abandoned section of the house where I live. It was like an attached apartment. In the kitchen was a lot of canned and packaged food sitting on a big table inside the oversized pantry. A visitor came through, someone I knew, and he needed dinner for his family. I invited him to help himself and he chose 3 items that would make a complete meal for him and his family. He was pleased and I was happy that I could be generous.

After he left, I began going through the apartment shadow boxing evil entities as I saw them. I’d say out loud “Ka-pow! Ka-pow!” as I punched them. And they were cleared out one at a time. After they were gone, there was movement in the corner which I attributed to Angels and let them be. Continue reading SABBATICAL FROM THE BATTLE