Category Archives: without conflict

WILL I OFFEND SOMEONE? CAN’T I WRITE ANYMORE?

 

silent man

 

I was working on a couple of my new books last night when fear attacked me. It said, “Will I offend someone? Can’t I write anymore?”

I smiled, cocked my head, and I chalked this up to another piece of information. The spirit of offense wants me to be silent.

 

You see, I received an explosion from an offended group a few days ago.  I thought they were close friends and I had no idea what I’d written would offend them.

Then this morning, I eavesdropped on a couple of my friends talking about their recent experiences with offense. And theirs were exactly like mine; traumatic, shocking, and surprising. Plus, they involved the closest and most trusted people. These friends concluded with a thought similar to mine last night. “I’m learning when to be silent.”

What? Offense teaches us something? Can an evil spirit teach us something that will be beneficial in our future? And is it silence?

 

Jesus was silent throughout His ordeal leading to crucifixion. But blood and fleshthat was a specific purpose. After all, Jesus told everyone to eat His flesh and drink His blood. He knew offense would have a heyday with that one. And He didn’t even try to explain what He meant. He let offense have its day. He’s the Son of God. He knew it would build a bigger case until the whole town hated Him. He knew they’d want to kill Him. And He silently let their hatred grow until it murdered Him.

But, He never preached in favor of silence. He didn’t say, “Be careful not to offend anyone.”  However, He told everyone NOT to be offended by Him. And they didn’t listen.

My point is that I think Jesus knows all about offense and how it works. He understood it completely. Unfortunately, I haven’t understood offense very well.   But one of my offenders told me to learn.  And I am. I’m taking notes.

 

#1 It usually picks an avenue that I least expect. And when it explodes, it catches me off guard when I’m wide open. It shoots a big poison arrow directly inside the unprotected area. Afterward, I question myself and put myself in a self-imposed prison of silence. Isn’t that remarkable? It looks like offense accomplished its job.

#2 The arrows of offense come from a heart who already bears offense. I’m guessing that it suffered an attack long ago and the poison arrows stuck. They are still stuck and have procreated a bunch of baby poison arrows. So, when I unknowingly touch the issue where they entered, it sends those babies shooting off to embed in a new victim, me.

#3 Offense is a huge liar. The vitriol spewed at me is smoke and smoke and mirrorsmirrors. None of its accusations are correct. Not one. They are all exaggerated lies. In the end of searching my heart, I always come up empty handed simply because the accusations were never real. Offense had no intention of describing me accurately.  It’s a germinated seed.   And to be honest, I knew it wasn’t me.

#4 Offense has an agenda to manipulate me and make me it’s pawn. It wants to silence me (and you) and watch us crawl into a corner. When we timidly crawl out again, we will treat that person carefully by tiptoeing around them. And when they have another explosion (which they will), we’ll bend over backward to ease their pain, even by taking the blame. We are now a pawn so busy handling this one person that we don’t have time for anyone else.  It’s an absolute nightmare.

So, I have a new plan for the next time offense decides to intrude into my kingdom with explosions, rants and poison arrows.

 

#1 I’ll ignore it and walk away silently to let the dust from the explosion settle and stop choking everyone. This is the only moment I’ll be silent because it is temporary.

#2 Then I’ll walk right back to my topic and continue talking about it. I might use some new angles and creative points of view. And it’s possible that the sources of offense will fight with more explosions and rants. But not for long, because those loud noises can be actively silenced on Facebook. It’s my Wall. I make the rules there. And the first one is “Don’t be cruel.”

#3 There’s a good chance that the sources of offense will walk away and never come back. Which works for me, too. Peace and calm are worth losing everyone.  And I don’t intend for that to be cruel.  It is simply a fact.

#4  I suspect that offense works up to the explosion in the background just like it did with Jesus.  Like gossip, it’s self-feeding.  Self-germinating.

Silence is not what Jesus said for me to do. It’s not the destiny He gave me.  I’m here to share my journey and the processes they take to get there. If that offends someone, it’s actually their problem to resolve. Not mine.

 

And I’d like to clarify the titles. Offense is different than Debate. It is also different than Questioning.

Offense says, “You hurt my feelings.” And that is basically a closed discussion.  There is no allowable response except apology and acquiescence. It has no room for reason or understanding.  It says “My feelings are my feelings and you must bow to them.”

 

Debate is all about logic and reason. It can always be reasoned with.  And sometimes it loves the heat on the way to logic and reason.

 

And Questioning is an open-ended statement waiting for an answer.  It is an open-minded process willing to hear everything.

Except when Questioning is a utility of Offense. And that’s quite alion set-up.  It’s what the Pharisees used on Jesus.  And it happens every day on Facebook.

I don’t like offense.  It has no redeeming quality whatsoever.  Its purpose is completely selfish and manipulative.

I don’t care for debate only because I don’t like the stress.

And I handle Questioning with care.  I only answer if I don’t feel the trap in my spirit.

This is my piece of my journey today.

Blessings on your journey and thank you for sharing mine.

Faith

 

 

 

I LOVE YOU, BUT I CAN’T “DO” CORPORATE ANYMORE

love alone

 

It was a weird phenomenon I didn’t expect.  A conference of my peers and friends left me at home wondering whether to spend the money to go and be with them?

And I decided the answer was “no”.  Why?  Well, it has little to do with them, of course, and so much to do with me.

I knew there would be corporate worship.  And then teaching time.  All of it would be awesome and rewarding to anyone who went.  Except, probably me.

No, I’m not a hardcore introvert.  I actually have a very extrovert side which loves to engage with people.  I especially love the one-on-one.

But.  And there is a very big “but”.  I can’t do it anymore. Continue reading I LOVE YOU, BUT I CAN’T “DO” CORPORATE ANYMORE

Viewpoints: from a Police Officer

my visit with a police officer

 

I took the opportunity to visit with a cop for a while the other day.  His name and other details will be kept confidential, but his story should be heard.

He was gentle, and kind although his voice was subdued with sadness, or hopelessness.  I didn’t know which.  He dreamt of being a cop as a child, and that dream solidified as a young adult when he witnessed an officer help a young couple calmly through the angry emotions of an ending relationship.  The officer disarmed their need for retaliation, and planted a seed in the heart of the young man to help others in chaos, to be a peacemaker. Continue reading Viewpoints: from a Police Officer

REJECTION & IDENTITY EBOOK ON KINDLE – $0.99

NOW AVAILABLE ON AMAZON AND KINDLE for  $0.99!

REJECTION & IDENTITY

Rejection & Identity book

Father unfolded a mystery.  

In our attempt to get rid of evil and cut it from our lives, we use Rejection.   But it’s a spirit who lies.  It won’t restore anything.  It destroy’s identity, and leave’s us in chaos unable to make decisions.  We’re lost.  And we’re desperate for rightness .

 

This was the context of my latest in-depth conversation with God bringing new revelation about our Identity going back to the Garden of Eden.

In a nutshell, Rejection is not a good thing, not even when we use it toward evil.  It is not a tool that helps us progress closer to God.  It is not the pathway to peace and righteousness.  And secretly you knew Continue reading REJECTION & IDENTITY EBOOK ON KINDLE – $0.99

WHY IS MY BROTHER A LIAR?

liar

Big promises and empty smiles from other people, sometimes from brothers or sisters.  What the heck!  Was that a lie?

There you are, trying to have faith and believe that Father is bringing something wonderful your way through amazing developments, but then someone didn’t follow through, or they didn’t deliver.  They Continue reading WHY IS MY BROTHER A LIAR?

SHOULD WE SCREAM AT THE WEATHER NOW?

bad weather

For years I wasn’t comfortable commanding and rebuking stormy weather, but it’s what I was taught to do.  I’d feel angry and
fearful reacting this way, and it didn’t seem completely appropriate.  Even in the worst weather, I saw amazingly beautiful cloud Continue reading SHOULD WE SCREAM AT THE WEATHER NOW?

“The Kingdom of Heaven at ROSE ROCK” by Faith Living.

Coming Soon!

This is ‘slightly in the future’ fiction about a homeless father and young son – invited by an Angel to step into ROSE ROCK, a community operating in ‘heaven on earth’ dynamics of supernatural proportions.

Estimated publish date after the 1st of the year 2016!

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SET MY BROTHER FREE part II

We just finished a week-long family event at our home. Almost 30 people from several states came and enjoyed being together. It was wonderful.

And it was a trial, although not for all the obvious reasons, save for one: religion. My family was raised Pentecostal/Charismatic and we all shared similar doctrines for most our lives. Then about 2-3 years ago, I began learning new things and my doctrines began changing.

I stepped out of the lines and did things like, umm, reading outside the usual doctrinal stuff. I read “Pagan Christianity,” by Frank Viola and George Barna. This book was one of the first to rock my status quo, and then it was “Raptureless,” by Jonathan Welton. Of course, there were many other authors in the mix like Maria Maddalena de Pazzi; hers was some rather obscure but enlightening material. Continue reading SET MY BROTHER FREE part II

The Comedy of My Learning

Lots of my friends are leaving Facebook and I’ve been reading their reasons.  One concern is about intellectual property rights and whether material we post on Facebook belongs to us or them. As a writer, that leaves enough question in the air to make me uncomfortable.  Yes, I write freely for everyone to read, but that shouldn’t make it someone else’s property. Continue reading The Comedy of My Learning

DESTROYING BUTTONS

finger on the buttons

 

We all have buttons we’d like to destroy because people keep pushing them. And the results are chaos and turmoil.

This happened to me recently and I recognized that I reacted the same way every time with one particular person.  The simple solution of walking away from her was not going to happen because I love her. She is family. And I want to understand what is between us.

So, I asked Jesus how to deal with this because I was beginning to fear her. I’ll call her Lisa. Lisa has a strong personality.  But Jesus told me not to go to her in this instance because the problem was not hers but mine.  The pain I felt was a button of guilt I had hidden deep inside myself years ago. I hadn’t handled life perfectly and therefore I’d caused pain to others, including Lisa.

Then I covered it over with time and activity until I’d forgotten it.  But I’d simply buried it and left a button that Lisa pushed often. I’m not sure that Lisa knows about my button, but oddly other people tend to subconsciously sense them. Maybe it’s a spiritual thing because I’m sure our spirits know a whole lot more than our conscious mind.

However, our society has created a standard of treatment for dealing with our sensitive little buttons. We confront the person who pushed it. Then we explain our sensitivity and ask them not to push that button again.

“But this is not the way to handle buttons,” Jesus said.  “This only justifies that button’s existence and gives it free reign to live and grow. My way is to destroy the button completely and set you free.”

He told me to forgive Lisa and release her from any responsibility.  Then accept her and her personality with complete, unconditional love. Wow. That felt impossible. But it didn’t turn out to be so impossible.

He took me back to the moment the button was born and told me to renounce the lie. I didn’t even know there was a lie. But sure enough, not only was there a lie, but I had accepted it and believed it.  The lie had been that I was a failure that wasn’t good enough because I had caused pain to others.

He showed me that our enemy always judges us cruelly and when we agree with his self-cursing lies it creates a button. And that button becomes the cause for more pain inside other relationships.

It wasn’t the easiest thing to Trust Jesus while He exposed those lies. But when He did, then I could see them and disagree with them. That simple act destroys buttons.

And Freedom reigns!