hope and fear


On the way home from work the other night, I had an intense encounter with hope and fear.

This trial and testing had begun with a horrible sound around my back right tire just as I was getting to work.  Nervously, I asked one of the guys to take a look but he saw nothing of concern.  So I said, “Well then I’m going to assume it was a build-up of slushy snow in the wheel-well that iced up and was clunking around in there.”

So for the evening, fear lurked just over my head, periodically interjecting his thoughts and torments.  I did my best to ignore him and hold on to my one hope.

Finally, at the end of my shift, I started the ignition and sat for a moment with Father.  Then I said, “Father, it’s You and me as usual.  And I’m asking that my car is perfect, and my ride home is without any unusual incidents whatsoever.  You know my trust is completely on You, as always.”

After my little prayer and a deep, cleansing breath of peace, I slowly proceeded out of the parking lot and onto the road.  It was deserted except for the half moon peeking in and out along the 8 miles of desolate countryside.   A bitter 6 degrees resulted in 2 pairs of gloves on my cold hands against the frozen steering wheel.   Smatterings of sand interspersed the snow packed icy roads and I held my breath as I headed for home.

Thoughts of a broken down vehicle in the deserted desert were frightening pictures floating across my imagination.  Dangerous animals and even more dangerous humans entered those pictures punctuation by a cell phone that sometimes cut out in the area.

Torment was doing a good job.  But even as he worked his terrible magic, I also remembered Joyce Meyer in a conference.   She’d said, “Do it afraid” and those words had stuck with me, like a mantra.  Every time I was up against that wall of fear holding on to a slim thread of hope that Father would never let me down, I remembered them.

Minutes seemed to take hours but finally I pulled into my dry carport, safely within seconds of my recliner.  It was one more time in the millions of times, that He’d cared for me.  He’d answered my request.  I arrived home, warm and toasty without a single variation of an incident along the way.  My wheels had not slipped on the ice, nor had the horrible sound come from the wheel-well.  Not even an animal had darted out from behind a bush.

I was safe and overcome with thankfulness.  Fear had played his hand and pulled the Torment card once again.  But also once again I “did it afraid” and Father kept His promise to never leave me or forsake me.

Fear comes sometimes.   It taunts me sometimes with horrible unbelieving thoughts.  But I know where they are coming from.  And I know these are the moments of endurance where I hold on to one hope – HIM.

And it works.  Every time.

Thank you for sharing this journey with me.  Blessings on yours.


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