Recently, I ran across a little book I wrote 20 years ago which I had named “Sometimes God Works Backwards”. It reopened some not-so-happy memories about a brother’s attempt to bring me in front of a group for reprimand. That group was never convened because the others saw my story as a testimony, albeit extremely controversial one. Therefore, they advised me to keep it to myself, and not share it further, which I have done.
My trials and heartaches had miraculous results at the hand of God and I’d been inspired to share it. However, the story exposed my past which angered this brother. I was a PK (preacher’s kid) and he’d known my folks intimately and loved and respected them greatly. But after they passed I had gone searching for answers no one was ever able to give me. Questions like: why are Christians afraid of Satan if God is so powerful; and how can Satan deceive someone against their will, . . . among others. My searching lead me into Astrology and Witchcraft, and away from the ‘safety of church life’ for several years. And this brother was appalled. Regardless of the overcoming victories that had ensued, he was sure I must need deliverance, or at the least a severe reprimand in recompense for disrespecting my parent’s good name.
This little book also revealed after only the 1st chapter, how much I’ve changed.
I had laid the blame for my trials and heartaches squarely at the feet of my searching and the overcoming victories were credited to my return to the Lord. I explained this context with heavy lines like “God has rules we can’t break without consequences.”
Since then I’ve heard Father and He said, “Witchcraft was not the reason your life fell apart – and you should stop saying you turned away from Me because I don’t remember that. It was doctrine you tested by your search. Not Me. I was still there. But because of that doctrine, you thought I no longer saw you as a follower. Instead, I saw your heart. Your searching was not angry, rebellious or rejecting toward Me.”
After several years of searching, I had spiraled downward for lack of Love – His Love. In my ignorance, I hadn’t continued my relationship with Him. I’d stopped talking to Him. But at my worst moment I turned to Him and asked for help, and He gave me complete restoration and healed my heart through a supernatural portal.
I learned finally, the thing that’s wrong with witchcraft is the same thing that’s wrong with much of Christianity – absence of a relationship with God. It is the one thing He wants – relationship- and anything that keeps us from it is damaging, destructive and will eventually kill us. We were made for that relationship. Without it, we die.
The simple explanation of what sin is – it’s absence of a relationship with God. It is the one thing we can point our finger at and remain always correct. We can’t always point to any other specific act and make that statement ‘this is sin’ and always be correct. Doctrine has tried. But it only succeeds in legislating the heart with all its rules thereby causing ghastly injustices in the name of God. Righteous judgment and truth can only come from the Spirit of God addressing an individual relationship. Righteousness (rightness) is ONLY inside that Spirit, inside that heart, that relationship.
I uncovered the deceptive doctrine, the lie that I was separated from my Father God because I touched unclean things. And that doctrine was substantiated by witchcraft because they too had been sold the lie.
This revelation was hidden from me for 20 years, but Father has reminded me of the miraculous, supernatural experiences. So, I may re-work that little book someday. And I know some will reject it still and be angry about it. Or I may keep it as it is. It’s a great reminder of where I was.
Recently, I was told to remember not to cast my pearls before the swine or they will turn and trample me. But I also remember there is a time for everything under Heaven.
I believe this is the time of the revealing of the Kingdom of God which is already coming to Earth.
“Arise [from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept you—rise to a new life]! Shine (be radiant with the glory of the Lord), for your light, has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you!”