About 18 months ago, I shared a declaration I made in my Kingdom, that no Police Officers would be shot and killed in my state of Colorado.
That declaration stood strong, until just a few days ago, when the first Officer in my beloved state, passed into eternity from a shooting.
My heart felt like it stopped. And I stood in the dark space of eternity and asked Father why.
This is one of those moments. I think they call them a crisis of faith. Where everything you have believed comes back and defies you. It’s an unbelievably tough moment.
And I know you’ve been there too. We all have been. I’ve been to this spot several times. And I asked myself the question, “Will you still believe?”
Yes. I will. And I will because there is simply nothing else for me to do. Father God has answered a million requests and supplied a million needs for me. So, if one comes to failure, well, I simply have to assume that I didn’t have it exactly right, or complete, or finished. Or that the mark moved in the fluidity of life and spirit.
There is always more to learn. Why would I go forward except for that? How can I be arrogant enough to think that I have the whole equation and Father God has no more to give me?
There is definitely more. And that is why I can’t stop. I can’t quit believing. I must go forward and grasp more. The truth is I’ll be doing that for eternity because I’ll never completely grasp the whole of everything that HE is. HE is so much more than my finite mind can consume.
So, will I be afraid to make a declaration from now on? Not at all. Because who’s to say that it didn’t make a difference and that there aren’t some Police Officers alive today because I did it?
And will I continue doing it the same way because sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t?
Well, I’ll probably push in and ask Father for the “more”. For what is missing and what I didn’t know. And I’ll listen for His advice about what to change or how to do it differently next time.
After all, there is no night in the Kingdom. There are no more tears there.
Therefore, there is a way. And just because my human mind cannot conceive of a place where darkness is overcome, that doesn’t mean it isn’t true. Or that my spirit can’t already see it.
So, I will pursue it. I’ll experiment with more revelations, and some of them may not be complete. But they will be more than I have now. They will be another step forward into the unknown, a trail I’ve never blazed before. New horizons in a new era.
There is more.
So, I will get up off the floor of disappointment and dust off my knees and look up. I will conquer many more obstacles than I will miss. And when I receive the key to this one, I’ll share it as I share them all.
Just as I wanted to share my sadness with you because I know you have these moments too. When something profound turned to dust in your hands and you stand with your mouth gaping open to the heavens, and tears running down your cheeks. You did your best. It was everything you knew to do.
And we did nothing wrong. We are never truly failures until we stop trying and reaching and asking about the Kingdom, and an eternity where the spirit is always fluid, moving and growing. Where there is often not just one answer, but many.
But probably the greatest gift from failure is the humility it brings to understand others and their failures. When the Facebook prophet misunderstands my message. Or a church leader judges my motives. When another author rejects me. And an earnest believer buries me in theology rather than kindness.
This is the moment I’ll try to remember. That we all miss a step. Sometime, somewhere.
Thank you for sharing my heartaches along with my joy’s. I send blessings to you on your journey.