Years ago, I got a new job that required I walk through a scary building twice a day. It was a security check. And it was part of my job.
Light bulbs had burned out in most of the building, so it was pitch black in the hallways. I submitted an order for them to be changed but that took a few days. In the meantime, I had to go through the building.
Friends said I should skip it until the lights were fixed. But I was compelled to do my job correctly. I didn’t want fear to victimize me. So, I searched for comfort and protection through memorizing scripture.
I chose: “God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a strong mind” 2 Timothy 1:7.
And I mumbled it over and over until I had it memorized. Then I said it again and again, sometimes screaming it, while I ran through that dark building twice a day.
Fear didn’t go away but the scripture gave me a focus besides fear. And it gave me something to say while screaming.
Gradually I learned a few things from that verse.
#1 – It said I wasn’t crazy. And even though I thought I was going over the edge, God said I wasn’t. He said I had a strong mind. Even though my self-image needed lots of repair I said the verse repeatedly because God was more right than my chaos.
#2 – It said God gave me power. Since I had no power over the chaos of my life, I desperately wanted it. And He said I had it. So, I said the verse during my lunch and breaks.
#3 – It said I had love. I didn’t feel like I had any but God said I had love. So, that meant it came from Him, not me. That should make a difference. And amazingly it did. I began seeing my customers through love and finding ways to bless them. It was a real eye-opener to discover I could be a blessing, an asset to others.
Fear seemed to be one of my biggest hurdles. And it’s connection to my self-esteem began to unravel during this experience.