I dreamt that I accidentally killed my precious doggies within a 24-hour period, by not feeding them. Then heartbroken, I cried out to God for forgiveness.
The awful pain woke me and I began the inward searching for the horrible flaw I could blame. Of course, there were plenty of places to target.
Then I heard, “This dream didn’t come from Me” and immediately I saw that the whole thing was a lie. After all, how does one accidentally not feed a favored pet? How would I? Plus, they wouldn’t die in one day, even if I did.
I’d found a culprit. It was guilt and condemnation to the extreme. And it would have kept me in sorrow for several hours – unable to function normally.
I sighed in relief and said, “It’s a lie” and the cloud of sadness dissipated instantly.
Even though I’m a long way from where I used to be in guilt and condemnation, apparently, I still have a little way to go to eradicate it from my heart. If there didn’t exist a piece of it still hiding inside me, then evil would not have a door to bring torment.
As I rest in Father’s arms and contemplate this thing in peace, I recognize a habit we are taught as Christians – to search ourselves for our sins. But I remember that David didn’t search himself. He asked God to find any wicked ways in him.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.” Psalm 139:23-25
Suddenly I understand how Father was using this dream to bring me truths. David’s request puts the job of searching for sin squarely in Father’s lap and then leaves the outcome also to Him.
And it’s simple really, to understand why. Father is the only one that can handle the job. If we search for our own sin, we are overwhelmed by what we find. We can’t possibly bear it. And we can’t fix it when we do.
Like Adam and Eve, we condemn ourselves from the guilt of sin and throw ourselves out of the paradise we live inside with Father. Or we receive unconditional forgiveness and become One with the Father, and let His grace cover us. Then we can sit back, relax, and enjoy the Garden. It’s free.
Yeah! It’s free.
Submitted humbly for blessings on your journey,