My parents unwittingly took me to find terror for the first time in my two-year-old life. I screamed, I clawed at Daddy begging him not to take me and he did what most Daddy’s would do. He slowed his pace and talked to me. He held me in his arms and reassured me. He coaxed me forward and reasoned with my fears. Gradually, bit by bit he got me down to the shores of Lake Erie.
All my life I’ve marveled at the terror that grabbed me so completely that day when I saw a large body of water two miles away. And because Fear has plagued me through my life, I am now searching the past for entry points. Lake Erie is my earliest remembrance.
You see, I no longer believe that this was a woundedness that has haunted me. I believe Fear and Terror are spirits that took advantage of an innocent girl, to plague her all her life and keep her from her destiny. It almost worked, too.
When I asked Father God for the keys to this torment, He told me to close my eyes and go back to that moment. He asked what message of terror I was receiving then.
So I closed my eyes and I remembered the moment we rounded a curve and I saw the lake from far away. A scene flashed before my eyes, of the lake swelling and rising into the sky until it overtook the world in an enormous, obliterating wave that would overcome me and my parents, and take my breath away, and our lives.
Father then said, “Tell the scene what you would say to it now”. And I said, “That was a lie. The lake was never going to overwhelm me and take my breath away. I am a Son of God* and you will never affect me again”.
Briefly I was tempted to say I rejected the spirit, but I remembered the lesson in “Rejection & Identity” that rejection simply relocates evil. It doesn’t overcome it. However, resistance defeats it and eventually destroys it. My Identity as a Son of God* is the key to resistance.
Now as I sit at my keyboard, taking a deep breath, I remember two other moments when Fear attacked me with terror.
One was when I was five years old, and my sister had died. Sitting behind the house by the iris patch, I’d heard a voice ask me “What if she wants you to come with her”? Suddenly I was afraid of the spiritual world.
Next terror was when my husband left me, I lost my apartment, and got fired from my job. Terror said I was utterly alone and abandoned.
These three terrors, lack of breath, the spiritual world, and abandonment, appeared to lead to my death. But in each case, Father saved me from destruction. He has given me breath every moment, provided a warm, loving home every day, and let me know He was beside me always. Each of Terror’s messages were lies that never came true because Father loves me and I made this declaration now. He is my source of life and my protection. I trust Him always to give me breath, surround me with holy spiritual beings, and never leave me for one moment.
All my life, Terror was on a path to losing it’s power in me, so it hung on incognito through asthma, tormenting me periodically through the guise of allergies and bronchitis, clamoring in each episode to gain a larger piece of my body and my mind.
However, I am learning to know exactly who I am and the power that makes me a Son of God*. I step before Father now and look into His eyes once more to see my own reflection. It is an amazing, strong, powerful reflection, a Son capable of ruling and reigning. His gracious love washes over and through me. I am His, through and through, and He restores my soul.
While doing the interview with Praying Medic, he began talking about the connection between Fear and asthma. He didn’t know how much he was reading my mail.
It was his comment that now had me searching my past to expose where Fear had sold me a lie and used it to linger in my life. I’m quite aware that demon agenda is simple. It’s target is our effectiveness, our destiny and eventually our death.
Our salvation is that Jesus conquered, rose again, and has given us the keys to the Kingdom. There is no reason for us to live on earth powerless to any demon’s agenda. We are Sons of God*.
It is not an accident that we live in a time where the word “terrorism” is used to describe a specific behavior in our society. The Spirit of God has been poured out in the world and is revealing the Truth in every corner. We are learning quickly what it means to defeat and overcome evil. Not ineffectively through rejection, but through resistance – through our Identity as Sons of God*.
Onward and Upward! Amen!
* “Son of God” refers to male and female alike.