6 months is how long it’s been since Hunny transitioned. So, I asked myself, “How are you?”

Very well, actually. And it’s an odd story because each step entered as something gone wrong.

First, an old friend resurfaced declaring his undying love for me. That was the first of many red flags, as they are called. But I didn’t run away, rather my curiosity kicked into gear. What was this new “hell”? Plus, it was distracting me from that phase of mourning I call “sinking into the black hole of grieving” and reminding me to laugh and be happy again.

Even taking my Buddy to the groomer was fun. I put on makeup for the first time in ages and my groomer surprisedly gasped at me, “You’re beautiful!” And I laughed. But I picked up on Father’s nudging that this wasn’t because of my friend. This was coming from my own mindset. My choice. One of Joy. Something I’d forgotten temporarily and needed a reminder of. So Father had sent one.

Next, my washer broke and I had to buy a new appliance without Hunny by my side. I felt like a robotic zombie putting one foot in front of the other as I performed all the necessary steps to acquire a new one and have it installed. But I did it! And that was a minor miracle to me. It made me remember that I’m still capable.

That gave me the courage to begin and complete a small backup solar project in my home. Something I had to study determinedly for several days before ordering supplies and instructing labor on installation. It was a success! And once again, I learned that I am capable and extremely grateful for Hunny’s voice of guidance in my ear and in my memory.

As the days clicked by, my friend gradually revealed more of his true heart. And each time these revelations came, it hurt. But hurt doesn’t scare me. It might involve tears and sadness but those aren’t fatal unless I give them the power to do so. It isn’t even long-lasting trauma because Father taught me previously how to overcome these things.

Eventually, I blocked him. It’s true. Me, the author of the Rejection and Identity books which describe at length Father’s revelation that we should never reject anyone. How did this happen? As usual, Father gave me several messages one morning directly after I asked him how I could justify blocking my friend and not be a hypocrite.

The first was a post on Facebook by Stan Tyra. He described the decay and death in a forest resulting in the new life as in a circle. Life and death working together. That the metamorphosis of something dying only brings the opportunity for fragments of that life to grow as something new. Suddenly, I saw that the ending of this relationship was not a detriment to either of us because of the influence each of us had had on the other. It would live on in our lives naturally as lessons and new ideas.

The next message came in another post. This one was LOVE WILL TURN THE AGE by Soulwind. “Love is the great reduction of all things back to its original purity and benediction.” Father instantly caused me to see that sometimes an element of going back to purity involves a benediction, or rather a goodbye, to the current “impurity” or chaos. But to remember that there is no reason to harbor grudges or anger toward the other. They too will be part of the natural cycle. Father will also bring them back to purity. Whether we see it or not matters little. That is their part. This is mine.

Wow! Already this journey has taken me through so many classrooms of learning. It is fascinating how Father intricately orchestrates it. And with so very much Love, patience, tenderness, and overwhelming understanding of exactly the place where we are standing in the moment.

Lastly, my bathroom sink broke and I bought a new vanity and sink to replace it. Then I removed the old one and installed the new one. It was frustrating at times and a learning experience at others. But afterward, I began seeing other projects around my home that Hunny and I never got around to doing. I found so much satisfaction in the completion of that project that I was shocked. And yet I shouldn’t be. This is what he and I did together for a lot of years. Why should I be surprised that I still find so much satisfaction and contentment in it?

But it surprised me. I never envisioned as I asked Father what I should do with myself now, that my answer was right in front of my face. Simply, continue forward.

It’s been an adventure for 6 months. And I’m grateful for each moment. Even the ones that sent me into emotional bursts of turmoil at first. That doesn’t last long…thank you, Father.

I still hear him, and now I hear Hunny too. It makes me smile. I’m no more alone than I was before. And I’m certainly no less loved.

Here I am, still taking one step at a time. I hope you are too.

Faith