How many times have I been asked, “can you back it up with scripture?”  And then I have to explain that I don’t require that from Father.  Whoa, that annoys them!

I’m completely aware that it’s been done this way for a hundred years, but like so many other traditions, Father eventually tips them over.  And then I stand in fear and amazement at what He’s done.

Some years ago, when Father showed me a new insight or revelation, I’d put my hand up and stop Him from going too far.  Looking back I think it was a horrible response.  But, He didn’t seem offended. He waited patiently while I scoured scriptures and commentaries for confirmation.  Only then could I embrace His gift and experience the thrill of receiving it.

It was quite a time-consuming process that delayed my joy.  And eventually, it occurred to me that I could pick and chose scripture “at will” to fit any slant of any subject.  It was a game.  Like a puzzle.  And I was the mastermind.  Somehow that didn’t taste very sweet, but that was how it was done.  It was the accepted process.

Then came revelations that opposed accepted theology.  And I couldn’t find anything to back them up.  It would appear that I was creating my own version of Christianity, which was not my heart.  37 thousand denominations were quite more than enough for everyone.   So immediately I suffered a crisis of faith, wondering if I had been duped by satan all along thinking it was God’s voice I was hearing.

Oh, the heartbreak and tears as I begged Him to save me from this horrible pit.  For days, my heart churned.  I’d trusted Him.  And now this.

Now I wondered.  I doubted.  Who was I talking to and would Father save me?  Slowly I asked questions full of suspicion and mistrust.

But He still wasn’t offended, and He quickly responded with information.  It explained why my revelation wasn’t common knowledge.  And as this happened time after time, a pattern developed.   It was usually fairly simple.

Sometimes a translation wasn’t accurate.  Sometimes the context wasn’t considered.  And sometimes, the history of society wasn’t understood.   Behaviors of a period change the meaning.  Words and phrases change quickly.  Our own society has new words and phrases that were unknown 50 years ago.  All these factors change things.  Scripture isn’t simply black and white.

Here are a few examples.  “When pigs fly.”  “That’ll cost an arm and a leg.”  “You let the cat out of the bag.”  “Break a leg.”  Or “That’s a piece of cake.”  We know what they mean but imagine someone from 600 B.C. reading one of them.   What a wrong concept they would have simply by reading what we wrote in black and white.

“It’s right there in black and white” is the response when I explain how quickly words change.  And Christianity has great tunnel vision in this regard.

Imagine if you “wrote on someone’s wall” a 100 years ago or “had a troll on my thread”.  A pioneer would think you were crazy!

So imagine my surprise when I discovered that “turning the tables” was an everyday occurrence in the temple.  Merchants turned their tables to the wall to indicate they had closed up shop for the day.

Well now, that puts a whole new twist on Jesus’s actions.  Maybe He didn’t have a temper tantrum after all.

And imagine my surprise at discovering the everyday phrase for Nero, the emperor, was “The Beast”.  Is it possible John in the book of Revelation, was talking to people who’d know exactly what he meant?  That could totally change our doctrine.

And what if, Father never meant for us to make scripture superior to hearing His voice?  Maybe it was meant for inspiration and guidance, but not in place of God, Himself.

Time after time, the overwhelming evidence of our flawed theology stunned me and I’d sit staring out the window at the mountains.  It was beginning to appear that almost nothing about our doctrines was constructed appropriately.  And this revelation put me at odds with most of my fellow believers.  If I ever opened my mouth, I was going to be explaining myself rather than sharing a revelation.

Then I had an epiphany, after once again asking Father to wait while I researched.  He always said, “Take your time.  I’ll be waiting.”  But suddenly I realized I was stalling my moment of joy.  Not only that, I was slowing down my progress.  And for what?

How quickly might I progress if I stopped putting the brakes on Him every time?  And how important was it for everyone to understand me before I continued?  Did I really need anyone to agree with me at all?

It was certainly a light-bulb moment.  And to top it off, Father had proven Himself to me so many times that I was completely, and absolutely confident He was able to prove everything He said, anytime I needed Him to do so.  He wasn’t able to lie.  And He obviously knows a whole lot more about everything, than I do.

I stopped worrying about who’s voice I was hearing.  We’d had so many conversations that I recognized His voice now. I had no more doubts about His identity because His most overwhelming trait is the Love that becomes apparent in every one of His conversations.  It is most assuredly the greatest Love ever imaginable and it’s never superficial, or vain, or trite.  Nothing evil can imitate it.  It truly is the ultimate proof of Him.

That moment was like taking the training wheels off a bike and trusting gravity to work the same way every time.  It’s completely freeing, and wild.  I knew it looked dangerous and reckless to those watching me.  So how would I convince them that God was really holding the bike up?

I didn’t know.  So, I continued searching scriptures for confirmation in an effort to convince and assure others.

But it didn’t last long.  It was quickly clear that those were very controlling chains.  And they don’t work.  No matter how much proof I could gather, there would always be people who wouldn’t buy it.  They would always think bad things and say mean things about me.  Always.

That’s because people do 2 things when presented with an idea contrary to their normal beliefs.  They accept it instantly.  Or they reject it instantly.  Neither of these decisions requires proof.  It is simply a human trait.

One group will dig deeper and the other will be long gone away.

Father gave me one more insight.  It isn’t my job to make sure people believe me.  The truth is placed in front of them so they can pursue proof on their own.  That’s what He wants – our undivided attention, reaching for truth.

So when I share, it’s not to convince anyone or make them follow me. It’s to coax them to come searching on their own.  Father doesn’t need my assistance holding their hand because He didn’t need anyone holding mine.  He used all sorts of people along the way, speaking messages they sometimes weren’t even aware He was using.

Ironically, I thought Father was guiding me toward ordination.  I took courses from 2 bible schools and I smile at the wonderful things I learned.  And I chuckle at the things Father proved wrong in the process.  Eventually, I understood He wasn’t heading me toward formal theological education.  And for a minute I was heartbroken.  But He said, “I want to teach you, myself.”  And I couldn’t resist.  It’s like the most intimate invitation from the best teacher in the universe.  How special could I possibly feel?

I loved the first time He gave me a message through an atheist lady.  She had just finished telling me why God didn’t exist and her very next sentence was the answer to a question I had asked Him earlier.  It didn’t fit into her conversation and I’m not sure she was aware that she’d said it.  Had Father just abused her free will?  Actually, I think He had only abused that ugly mindset that was riding in her.

Anyway, I’ve seen Him lead a woman all her life, who’s never stepped inside a church.  And I’ve seen Him speak through someone who didn’t believe in Him.  He doesn’t need my help to fix others.  He simply wants me to share my stories and revelations.  He’ll take it from there.

“Study to show thyself approved” isn’t instructing us to memorize scripture and argue effectively with each other.  It’s a compliment to “Seek and ye will find” because there are billions of “pearls of great price” worthy of attaining.  They are all inside His presence.

“My sheep know My voice, and a stranger they do not hear.”

So how does it happen that someone hears Father say something and another person hears something different?  That’s pretty simple.  It’s maturity and intimacy.  A 5-year-old child doesn’t get the same answer from their Dad that a 15-year-old gets.  That doesn’t mean the 5-year-old’s answer was a lie.  It was appropriate.

A stranger doesn’t get the same answer from a man that his wife will get.  That’s because his wife is not only intimate with him, but she has a history with him and knows things about him that the stranger couldn’t know.  Father wants that kind of intimacy with us, where He can share His heart and we’ll understand what He means simply because we know Him so well.

It’s how a relationship works.  And it’s so much better than scraping together a bunch of scriptures to prove what I just saw.  Father is still the greatest teacher of the Universe and He always will be.

Thank you for sharing my journey and I send blessings with you on yours.

Faith