It’s sometimes difficult for me to scroll through my Facebook feed because it’s painfully obvious that I’m on a different path than most of my friends. And they are people I love.
So, here I am, always sitting on my own rock, somewhere off to the side of the beaten path. I’m staring out over my own private view which is absolutely amazingly beautiful.
This is the price and the reward for choosing to lean on Father exclusively. It’s not a popular place. And it’s actually somewhat isolating.
But that’s ok. I grew up in rather isolated circumstances since my sister died. I was 5 years old. And I learned that entertaining myself produced free creativity. And that wasn’t bad.
The other day I woke up with a song haunting me. It happens a lot. And usually, it’s Father singing me a love song, which is a magnificent way to wake up.
But this song was “Separate Ways” by Journey. And as usual, it was not a song I knew the lyrics to. So, I Googled it.
“Here we stand
Worlds apart
Hearts broken in two ………..”
What? Why would Father give me a song about separation? I was puzzled.
“Feelin’ that it’s gone
Can’t change your mind …………….”
I wracked my brain for meaning. So I dug deeper into Journey’s music bag and found a huge appreciation for Steve Perry. He was like a happy new discovery for me. Lol.
“If he ever hurts you
True love won’t desert you
You know I still love you
Though we touched
And went our separate ways ………..”
Another morning waking up to the same song.
Finally, I pressed into Father’s heart. “What are you telling me?”
“This is how you feel when you walk away from the popular topics of your friends.”
Oh, my! The light bulb over my head clicked on. And it was … well, massively illuminating (pun intended).
“If you must go
I wish you love
You’ll never walk alone
Take care my love
Miss you love.”
Oh, yes! There it is. This is the exact emotion I feel.
So, I’m sharing this with you in case you experience it too. Maybe it’s been a long time on your own rock, and find yourself walking away from the popular topics too.
I jokingly said on Facebook that I’d gone rogue but that wasn’t a good description because it implies anger. And I’m not angry at all. However, there are people who are isolated and angry. It’s easy to assume that I might be one of them.
And then there are friends who pity me and want to scoop me up into their lap where I can be swaddled and pampered. They don’t know that I am already extremely pampered and blessed on my rock.
The truth is that everything I want or need comes to me. I’m never hungry, or cold. And I’m most definitely never alone because I always have the One who is closer than a friend. And of course, I have Hunny. 😡
Father is always here and not only do we share the most intriguing conversations, but He tells me secrets. And that is thrilling! There is simply no price I wouldn’t pay for it!
And if you live like this too, then you know there is nothing to compare to it. Ever.
But it’s because of those secrets that I can’t join in the popular topics. Not because I don’t understand them. That would be such a nice easy explanation. The truth is that I understand them all too well. I even used to stand on those soapbox’s myself. It’s the irony that makes me laugh a little. And in the end, it’s why I just quietly walk away from the discussions.
There’s no point in rocking their boats. Father is the one who rocked mine. And He did it very well all by Himself without help from anyone. So He certainly doesn’t need my help rocking theirs.
But if you need assurance that sitting on your own rock is a sane thing to do, then I give it. Wholeheartedly.
Yes, there were tears through the years when I thought I was a pariah. Or I thought I was lonely. The enemy will whisper all sorts of terrible things. But he’s a liar, we know.
I discovered that I wasn’t lonely and I was never a pariah. Actually, I’m probably a most un-lonely person. And I don’t find myself rejected by any one person who meets me.
Yes, I know the church teaches that isolation is our enemy. And that we’re lured into it, or tricked into it because our enemy knows isolation will defeat us.
But here’s what I’ve found. It isn’t at all like the isolation the world talks about. It isn’t depressing and defeating. Nor is it dark and foreboding. And I probably shouldn’t even refer to it as isolation. There must be a better word. But for the sake of simple communication, I’ll continue to use it.
Anyway, I think it’s inside this isolation that we discover Father isn’t far away out there. He isn’t far away at all nor is He hard to reach. But in the quiet, we find that He’s right here. He’s inside, ever present, always at hand, closer than a friend.
Isolation pushed me closer to Him where I was able to hear His voice more clearly than ever before. I think that’s because the noise from the group is often deafening. And sometimes it’s confusing simply because there are so many voices.
I’ve also discovered that the church has misinterpreted so many scriptures and teachings that I’ve begun to conclude they’ve gotten almost nothing right. Doctrines appear suddenly to have ulterior motives. And they aren’t Love.
The longer I stay on my rock, the clearer the view becomes. And it is absolutely breathtaking. When everyone is screaming that the world has gone to hell in a handbasket, I’m thrilled by it each morning. I find it filled with hope and dreams. And the more of them that come, the more that are fulfilled.
This is a different world with Him here. It’s where all the fences are down and I have no limitations. The freedom is indescribable. And in the beginning, it was almost frightening because it seemed so big. Like the universe itself, I see no end.
Here is where Creation begins and thrives and grows into things you never even imagined before. And I think this is what the scripture meant that said no one has ever imagined the wonderful things Father has planned for those who love Him. (my paraphrase).
I’m not telling you to isolate yourself on purpose. And I’m not saying it is the only way to know Father.
But I am saying without hesitation that this is how He did it with me. And it is how He is doing it with many people.
There’s a huge group of people being separated and called away to sit on the rock. And they are pitied, ignored, or simply unknown.
Well, why wouldn’t we be? We aren’t actually a formed group that anyone can point to and say, “There are those isolated ones!”
Generally, we’re simply on the fringes of all the other groups. We tend to position ourselves so that we aren’t too committed, but where we can peek in and watch a bit now and then.
The biggest commitment I have is the one Father gave me to share my journey. So, I do. And that’s all.
To those of you like me, I can say that you are not really alone. But you knew that. And that you are not really weird or odd. And you may not have known that. But I’ll tell you now.
You are treasured and you are positioned. For what? You know. The secrets. The pearl of great price. Yes, it was Jesus, but it was more. It was this separated, intimate relationship with Him where you hear no other voice.
Go ahead wear that crown. It’s ok. It’s yours. You probably even saw Him put it there and then He kissed you.
As I said, there are rewards.
Thank you for joining me on this journey. I send blessings and love with you on yours.
Faith
Thank you for sharing, I too have been brought to a place of “alone with the Father”! Blessings from Freedom, PA
Thank you Donnis, for sharing that with me. You aren’t alone, for sure.
Yes! Yes! This has been my journey too. Isolated for many years where through trials I was able to find Him. And yes, it is very hard to have “normal” conversations now. Thank you for sharing. It helps to know this is a journey that He does have others on too.
Me too. Right there with you all. And completely ok with it forever for all the reasons she shared here.
Me, too. Thanks, Bryn.
Yes, yes, yes. Thank you!!!
This touched me
<3
Faith ~ I relate to this post on a multitude of levels. It’s as if you read both my mind, and my heart. Simply put, Father God has actually lead me into a life of an urban monastic. We use Matthew 6 as my life guide. I love it. I am fully free to pursue His mandate for my life without the clutter of cultural racket. Thank you for sharing your journey. I am nourished.