After struggling once again with the results of “trying on” someone else’s idea of who we are with God, I have laid down another facade in favor of who I truly am with him. Exclusively unique.

It is after all, the identity of each of us. Singular. Peculiar.

For each teacher and preacher who lead us toward their vision of unity with God, we hear a familiar ring in their words and then “try on” their vision. Much like we would try on a new job, or a new pair of jeans. We are drawn by the presentation into dressing up in their perception.

This endless masquerade reminds me of a teenager experimenting with the makeup displayed in magazines. One day, those ventures coalesce into our own unique mixture of techniques and palettes. And we use them to display who we are.

It’s the same process in faith and spirituality. Even inside the same religion and the same denomination. No two people ever live in identical ways with their God.

the fake

I “tried on” the I AM that others described and lost my own power in the procedure. That place of near-perfection where my every desire was answered. My every need supplied. Where I lived out loud from the mountain top.

It was set aside and I became a shell. An empty fake. A hypocrite.

Suddenly I was lost in a fog of mediocrity, powerless, with a stranger in the mirror. A victim of something called fate in a place of casualties where buildings fall into rubble.

But it isn’t a tragedy when this happens. It isn’t even evil. It’s human. It’s discovery. Which leads to choices, decisions, preferences, re-vamping and finally stepping again into the journey carrying a new gem from the experience.

And once again I left a building built by another and took a piece of it to add to my own.

the vision

Several years ago I had a vision that I was riding a galloping blood red horse along high cliffs overlooking a raging sea. And I was naked. As I slipped here and there, holding desperately to his mane, I looked at the waves crashing into the rocks below and wondered how I would survive. Then I heard Father explain that this was an illustration of my life. An endless ride into the future with him as my only savior. And when I asked when it would end, he answered, “If that ever happens, I will let you know.”

With some research and Father’s input, I was given the interpretation. My journey would be fast, exhilarating, and sometimes frightening. But he would always keep me safely on his back, flying through one new revelation after another as the storms of life and religion crashed on the rocks below me. A solitary journey I’d never trade for anything.

finally

I stand restored now from my foray into another’s vision. I’m joyfully exuberant in being me… with Father. Knowing exactly how to rule and reign my kingdom with him whispering in my ear, arms wrapped about each other, enraptured in the realm we create together.

He is still massively superior to me, and his guidance forward on my never-ending path is crucial as he unveils all the intricacies of my life. One after another. Endless revelations. Eternal discovering’s.

Once again I’m in the silence, alone. Apart from my fellow travelers. Being the only me that I can be. Riding at full speed, in exhilaration, sometimes a bit scared but full of power and the vibrations of eternity. Moving situations and adjusting the scenery around me…with him.

There is nothing I’d rather be or do, than be exclusively unique with him.

Blessings in your exclusive uniqueness,

Faith