I ask this strange question because Fear seems to have become so familiar in my landscape especially during the last 18 months. And it has appeared in so many different forms that I wonder how greatly Hunny must have been a shelter to me. Which is true, he was. But was I unaware of leaning on him so heavily? Was it unfair of me to have been so unaware? Or was it a societal thing? Or a role we played?

I don’t know the answers to all these questions. Although I suspect that in some ways all of them were true at times and in different aspects. However, I don’t recall ever once that Hunny seemed overburdened by it so I will let myself off that potential guilt trip.

Still, this has been a period of meeting Fear around many corners. Some practical, in those bumps in the night. But others simply appear because I’m facing serious situations without Hunny physically by my side.

On the bright side, he is still making himself known to me at every opportunity. Especially taking up the penchant Father has always used for speaking to me through a song. There is often one playing through my mind when I awake in the morning. And it always brings me peace in some area where I’ve been pondering with trepidation.

So often it’s a song I haven’t heard in a long time. I’ve even had songs that only played a few notes and I didn’t know the rest of it. But it was familiar. That has happened a few times and it leads to quite an adventure in tracking. Once the song is found, the lyrics are a profound personal message directly to my mind and heart.

I’ve always appreciated this form of communication from Father. It touches me so deeply that it often leaves me in tears of grateful appreciation for the passionate love conveyed.

Hunny knew this happened to me periodically. I experienced some elation when a song carried a deeply personal message to me and I’d bubble over with the emotion as I shared it with him. He always saw the links and connections and never reacted as though I had just made a big to-do over nothing.

Now he’s doing it to me too. And when it’s him, the lyrics are pointedly from a viewpoint I remember being his. Sometimes its something I’ve forgotten. But he is still himself. Always surprising me, making me laugh, and touching my heart so unexpectedly. He’s still a master at pulling those strings. And no wonder, since he knows them so intimately.

But back to the aspects of Fear I’ve been meeting. Even though these are new encounters I’ve never had before, I don’t see them as anything other than new mountains for me to learn to cross on my own.

It’s become a “thing” in my life, to encounter another looming decision. It has happened so often that I’m now simply taking a deep breath and purposely looking inward for my guidance. It’s what I’ve always done, but there used to be another step. One of looking to Hunny for his thoughts. Now he is part of the main step of looking inward. Of course, finding Peace first is priority because without it, there is no clear vision or hearing within.

He’s always there. Always.

Faith