Have you ever leafed through the years of your life looking for those times you affected another’s life in the name of your faith? And then wondered if that effect was positive or negative at its core?

I took this mental journey while driving Interstate 80 from Kansas to Colorado last week. It’s a long, rather boring stretch of road that generally lulls most passengers to sleep, leaving the driver with lots of time for contemplation.

I wasn’t looking for the moments I’ve touched people with Love. But rather the ones when I touched them in the name of my dogma, doctrine, or tenets of my faith. The laws. The rules.

Long ago I became aware of the horrendous list of atrocities committed upon humanity in the name of faith and now I wanted to remember when I may have been a party to this barbarity. Since I’m a human raised religiously, its likely I participated ignorantly in this age-old crime.

Gradually I remembered an incident I considered an oddity at first. It involved the dance of love but it was twisted into an ugly thing by the dogma of my faith. And with a second look, I realized it wasn’t an oddity at all. It’s all through history.

Look closely at every tale of war waged because of forbidden love, and underneath smolders a core of prejudice rooted in doctrine, dogma, and the tenets of faith. Though my own notorious moment didn’t lead to war, it was equally as hateful as any other throughout history.

The incident

In high school, I rejected the advances of a handsome, well-liked classmate solely on the grounds of my faith. He was Catholic and I was charismatic, fundamentalist. I recall my reasoning too. “It would never work”. But that was the hypocritically kind response arising from my deep-seated prejudice. We considered their faith to be the Devil’s own handiwork.

Instantly, upon remembering it, I was filled with regret. He was a kind, young man who never pursued me again, but I’d seen the sadness in his eyes then and it haunted me now.

My sin may not have been a crime to begin a war or cause a murder, but it affected his heart with pain. And now my guilt wagged its ugly finger in my face and I remembered a long-forgotten definition for evil.

Evil = causing pain

“Father, I was the cause of pain. What do I do now? There is no way to go back and apologize. So how do I wash away my guilt?”

He replied, “I have kept no record of your offense. You have. So use your imagination along with that memory to say the things you’d like to say now.”

And so I did.

It was a rather miraculous experience as I engaged my imagination and begged my suitor’s forgiveness. But I hadn’t foreseen his reaction. He graciously pardoned me quickly with a gentle understanding smile. That was my unexpected miracle. And afterward, with joy, I sent him, through the ether, the sincerest, most loving blessings my heart could conjure, no matter where he might be in the world. In the end, I rested, untroubled.

For the remainder of my trip toward home, I pondered whether there are any advantages whatsoever brought in the name of faith. And whether those incidents ever qualify as virtuous or are they always sin against Love. After all, Jesus demonstrated that death exists at the hands of religious dogma.

I found no redeeming qualities for ever touching another life in the name of dogma, doctrine, or the tenets of my faith. And now my heart grieved for the inhumanity we perpetrate still, in the name of faith. It binds every religion in the world together in guilt. The same guilt Jesus vehemently pointed out to the Pharisees and Sadducee’s. And I’m sure he would have made the same point just as sharply with any other leader of any other religion whose faith lays in his doctrine, dogma, or tenets.

We have always created religion labored with law. It’s our Beast. Our impostor of Love. Which is in truth, hate fueled by fear. And it remains just as murderous as it was with Cain and Able. How many times are we told, “the letter” kills, and still don’t see the blood on our own hands?

The dogma of our religion demands that we declare our faith before our enemies without wavering. And without Love or mercy. Barring ever boundary in our fight.

Jesus never did this. He never stood and fought. He never started a war, or caused a murder, nor did he ever break a heart in the name of faith.

And no matter how vehemently we defend our rights to have religious laws and twist our religious texts into murderous instructions, we forget that Jesus only had one law. To love one another.

I never found one moment when my doctrine, my dogma, or the tenets of my faith had a positive effect on another’s life.

Instead, every instance introduced judgment, rejection, and consequences. None of the characteristics of Love which keeps no record of wrongs. And my heart was continued to be grieved.

But Father doesn’t ask me to grieve for this evil tendency inside humanity. He asks only that I’m brave enough to mature, recognize it, and change my mind. Understanding, with Love, that my fellow humans may not arrive at this same revelation quickly. Possibly never. Yet, still, he does not hold this core of evil to their debt to be repaid. Nor does he ask me to hold it to them in the name of justice.

He asks only that I Love them like he does. Unconditionally.

And though my journey has been long and slow, I hope dearly that I have exorcised my demon laws, save one. In the name of my faith, I claim only one, “Love one another”.

Blessings on your journey in the name of faith.

Faith