At a random moment in May, my mind twirled itself into a knot about God.  My expanding understanding of Father’s presence within me had somehow “humanized” Him.  After all, if He is actually part of me and not living separate from me, then how does He remain divine?  How is He still omnipotent?  And what does that mean regarding the miracles I’ve experienced most of my life?  It seemed that the more I saw Him within me, the less miraculous He appeared.  Was He ordinary now?

Of course, that conclusion means my mind doesn’t have a miraculous perception of myself.  I’m still flawed with feet of clay, unable to fly.

Plus, I didn’t have time to contemplate this twist and talk it out with Him.  We had a family and friend event coming up at our home in mid-June and there were a multitude of projects to complete beforehand. So, while Hunny and I labored to finish building projects and landscaping, I put my dilemma on a shelf.

But it nagged in the back of my mind every day and I wondered how it would be resolved.  It felt like my awesome, miraculous, heavenly Father had suddenly fallen from His throne by living inside of me.  How divine could God truly be if He could exist inside my humanness?

Then a problem rose from the fog like a Loch-Ness monster rearing an ugly head.  It presented itself and stared at me.

Nelly said she was going to begin taking a chunk of our finances each month.  Not only that, she had solidified the decision and there was nothing I could do about it.

I took a deep breath and managed to sit calmly.  Should I accept how it appeared and not begin a battle?

Once again I reminded my heart that this is My Kingdom.  I didn’t have to fight for it.  Father gave it to me.  It is my inheritance in Him.  And any battles I face are largely in the battlefield of my mind.

So, should I envision the perfect outcome as He has lead me to do before?  Or do I ask for His divine intervention as I’ve also done many times?

Well, if I asked for His divine help that would mean He hadn’t changed.  He was still capable of supernatural intervention and miracles regardless of my mind’s problem with perception.

“Father, in every bad situation You have always told me to trust You to use it as an open door to bless me more.  You take what appears to be stolen and turn it into an opportunity for me to receive more.  So, that’s what I’m going to believe still.  You have not changed.  You are still omnipotent.  And at some point my feeble mind will learn the correct perception of You.  You have always helped me.  I don’t believe You will stop now.  So, I will stay in peace.  And in that vein, I will also make a few inquiring phone calls.”

And that is what I did.

For the following two weeks I received inept answers from people who admitted they didn’t understand my case or it’s result.  The opportunity for frustration presented itself in spades.

But I reined in my temptations to flip out and instead plodded forward, following their suggestions and receiving more dismal news.  Additional phone calls ensued and I’d sit in Father’s presence a moment before dialing.  Inner peace and trust was the only place for me.

Finally, I connected to Lonna who seemed extremely familiar with my process.  She asked a few simple questions and said she was fixing it.  When she hung up I was encouraged.  The tide was now turning.  I was coming out of the fog and the monster was sinking under.

I waited for a letter of confirmation which came the very next day in an email.  It not only pronounced the situation fixed, but reversed in full, which I had not expected.

I’ll admit I believed it would cost us something, but I expected it to be a negligible amount.  I had never expected the decision to totally reverse!

Father had showed off for me once more and I felt like Sarah finding out she’d be a mother in old age.  I laughed.  Yep, I did.  But it was in pure joy.

Once again the unreasonable doubts and twisted perceptions in my inept mind had not triumphed over the Spirit of Love and Life which lives and dwells inside my heart.  His warmth washed over me as it always does and I relaxed inside His arms.

He is always here.  He’s never less.  And He’s never daunted one bit by the twists and turns of my wayward mind.  My intellect will never truly grasp the magnificence of Him, anyway.  And it’s even more baffled by the fact that He and I are truly One.

He is the I Am.  So am I.

Blessings on your journey today through the complicated processes of your mind.  Trust Him and His Spirit in you.

Faith