This is an odd little story, I think. But after Father said to me, “I think it’s time for you to let go of Hunny” he followed that with “It’s time to love yourself that way. After all Hunny is IN you with me”.

Well, that was profound to me and somehow for the first time in my life, it felt like I might actually be able to do this thing I’d been working so hard to achieve for a very long time. Loving me. Just me as I am. But it didn’t work at all like I thought it would. It was a very relaxing thing. No hard work at all. And weirdly, I suddenly appreciated this reaction of rest within myself.

I could appreciate all I’ve learned through the years, and relaxing was one of them. I used to feel guilty if I wasn’t busy, I mean, there was so much to be done. So, I should do it. But in the last few years, Hunny taught me to stop doing that. He’d say, “Just sit with me. Do that later.” And he’s probably the only one who could get me to do that.

It was hard at first. But gradually I began to find a guilty pleasure in it. Then finally I found that my body appreciated it too. And it was good.

Loving myself…well…that was a step farther.

Now, for some reason, my appreciation slipped ever so softly and sweetly over into love. And my conscious pulled back just a tad wondering if this would make me arrogant and prideful. But no, instinct said. Just look inside and see. It didn’t feel arrogant. It felt warm and comforting. I could see myself as my best friend. Comfortable and satisfied. How odd. And how nice.

Then as I put my make-up on the next morning, I noticed my eyes. Almost as though it was the first time I’d ever seen them. I was strangely in awe. When did they become so pretty? Were they always this way? Was I always blind to my own beauty? I panned out and looked farther. Oh, my! I’m pretty! And age didn’t matter one iota.

Whoa! What was happening to me? I’m excited to see tomorrow. To face another adventure. This time on my own. Or to relax and do absolutely nothing. Life is beautiful! It’s all around me. Absolutely, irrevocably beautiful! And so am I.

This is abundant life. It’s mine.

And it’s yours.

Faith

. . . . . . .

SONG: COUNT ON ME by Jefferson Starship

POEM: