I have been feeling so lost on my own site, my own platform. But, why? After all, I created it through the burning of spirit within me. Why should I feel lost now?

Well, I think I just ran across an answer. I’d asked Father for an answer, of course. So I’m not surprised. But I’m not going to jump to conclusions that this is the full answer. I’ve had this feeling too many times. And the answers seem to come in stages and pieces. They often take quite some time to acquire the whole picture.

Anyway, this “piece” is so simple. Aren’t they always? Lol.

It’s about living in this moment right now in this new territory with my Father and being content here with him. I don’t need to have all the answers because they really are simply him. Just him.

Oh, the issues, problems, and obstacles we face. And we think our choice is to embrace it or fight it. But actually, there is a third choice, the most effective one which is hidden, ignored, and mostly unknown.

It’s the kingdom. And when I began to wake up to the inner kingdom where God lives, I began discovering this place isn’t just mine. We all have one, an inner kingdom, and it’s where the greatest power of the universe lives. It’s right here inside us.

There’s a reason God put his kingdom inside each of us. It’s so it would always be with us. Never leaving us because we need it constantly to learn how the facts of our world can be turned, transformed, and changed on behalf of ourselves and everyone we have ever loved.

Sometimes things happen that seem to come from so far out of left field that I stand in shock, unprepared, and appalled. That seems to have been my typical reaction in every crisis I’ve experienced. I never see it coming, I always feel unprepared, and I’m almost always appalled.

It’s a human response. But I could be wrong. You may be a person who is always prepared and ready for these blasts from left field. And maybe I should try harder to gain that stance.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about discipline in terms of whether its use or lack thereof has a bearing on the state of our society.

Father’s soft voice echoed in my ear. “Without discipline as a child, most people will grow up without significant compassion.”

That pairing had never occurred to me. Discipline and Compassion. So my mind hesitated to accept it even while my heart was agreeing completely. Shouldn’t I research this concept before sharing it willy-nilly?

“Why am I not healed?” Ah, yes, one of those questions that gets my brain battling between sides. Right side: “You are already healed, so believe and manifest it“. Left side: “Just stating the obvious facts here.”

I actually do believe that I’m already healed and that immoveable Faith in this Fact came to me through a most real vision years ago. In it, I floated inside Father. Sitting with my legs crossed, I watched everything he was doing and saying. And Father simply couldn’t see anyone except through the eyes of Love, which is the perfection of his thought when he formed and created each of us.

It all began in September 2019. The worst virus I’d ever known attacked me. Extremely difficult breathing and coughing were the main symptoms. So, I assumed it was bronchitis. But this was bronchitis gone rogue and it hung on for over 3 weeks.

As I look back now, I realize it was just the beginning of a long haul. Other seemingly unrelated attacks began even before the “bronchitis” was finished running its course.

First the heart, then the neurological system, and finally my GI tract. Each one with severe symptoms. And each one presented a new, more frightening, and difficult territory to overcome.

I know it isn’t Easter exactly, but it is for me in many ways.

One of them is this website. It was in critical error for several months.

What does that mean? What the heck do I know? I mean really. I write. But the technology behind the writing? Well, I’m not a programmer, to say the least.

I had no clue how to fix it. So, I just kept paying for the domain… hoping one day I’d understand.

Today was that day! Something clicked. Something made sense. And here I am again clacking away on my keyboard.

It was one of those weird thoughts that sometimes pops into our mind. I think it might have been prompted by something someone said on a show I was watching last night.

Anyway, I grabbed a notepad and started listing all the homes I’ve lived in since I left my parent’s home at 17. The total came to 27 homes. Wow, what a journey I’ve taken! And each one carried a whole slew of memories and experiences. What a great question for someone with a life like mine to answer. I could write a book about each one!! Lol.
But here’s the gist of the exercise for me.

My most enjoyed encourager is Jordan B Peterson. In his book “12 Rules For Life” his twelfth rule is to Pet A Cat When You Encounter One On The Street. He calls it a focus on fragility. That when we have come up against the wall, in the betrayals and tragedies of our lives, we should shorten our focus on time frames, and pet the cat we encounter on the street.

This spoke loudly to me today when I sunk into tears over the continuing saga of physical maladies that have attacked me for the last 20 months. As I have overcome one, another has pounced. And the courage to get up to overcome the next challenge simply wears on one. Thus the tears, momentarily at least because I refuse to be a pitiful victim.

These past few months have been a “going through the fire” episode for me, which might explain why I haven’t posted. Honestly, much of the time, I simply didn’t know what to say. And in other parts, it seemed too bizarre to share, especially when I didn’t understand it fully myself.

Ironically, I thought I was finished with the “fire” series this year and was ready to head into the green pastures of the valley. But that wasn’t the case.

Health challenges, some of them with life-threatening proportions loomed over me. And I wasn’t handling them conventionally. Oh, I considered that direction seriously, more than once, and then resorted each time, to my usual. Only Father.