Remember the doctrine about not being unequally yoked with unbelievers? It’s one of the main scriptures for counseling young people, as I remember.

Fast forward to my divorce (which WAS equally yoked) and then to my marriage to Hunny (an alcoholic). All through our dating period (2 years), I kept praying for God to unhinge this unequally yoked relationship because no matter how hard I tried, something in me loved him deeply.

Eventually, his ex-wife came back and I sighed, relieved. It was over. God had answered my prayers.

Two days later she was gone again and he was back on my doorstep. What?!?!?

“God, what are you doing?”

Fast forward again to the week of our wedding. I prayed even more fervently for God to re-think this whole thing and get me out before it was too late. I begged for one thing, anything to go wrong.

Unknown to me at the time, Hunny was also praying the same thing. 😲

THE WEDDING

It was an easy request, after all, who’s ever seen the perfect wedding? There are always problems that pop up during the week before the wedding. But for us…..nothing. Nada. Zip. It went perfectly without a single hitch.

A week later while sitting in my recliner alone one day, I pondered this disastrous marriage. “God, why? Why am I here?”

And I’ll never forget hearing this: “I gave you to him to show him my love. Now, just love him. Don’t ever preach or teach or even talk to him about me, except for one thing. You can share the story when I do something marvelous in your day. That’s it.”

So, I did it like God said, which also didn’t seem right. I was convinced I was simply and unavoidably headed for another divorce.

Short story: he was delivered from alcoholism in two years, and one by one all the other chaos’s of his life ended in eight years. Those first 10 years were hard….REALLY hard. But somehow even when we fought, we continued going forward. And I never trusted anyone else more.

Our 28th anniversary is December 14th and I can’t imagine loving anyone more than my Hunny. He is my greatest blessing. And that’s no exaggeration.

THE TRUTH

So, what’s the truth about the “unequally yoked” scripture? We’ve interpreted “believers” to be those people who got “saved” in church. And unfortunately, I think we were so far off that we missed the mark completely. We’ve judge people by that standard, when right beside us stands someone who did the “saved” thing and lives like the worst sinner.

After all these years, I believe it’s talking about a spirit synergy. It’s like that unexplainable thing that happens with a stranger sometimes and suddenly it feels like you’ve known each other forever. Your spirit yearnings seem to go in the same direction. It doesn’t mean you have anything at all in common. But you understand each other, almost without words. And it isn’t something you can learn. It just happens. That’s equal yoking.

Conversely, we’ve all felt the opposite too. Those people who just don’t mesh and you can’t explain why without sounding like a nit-picking fool. But your spirit knows. And it’s very real. They are not people to start a business with, or even stay in constant relationship with because it will never flow no matter how hard you try. It isn’t something to place blame or fault. Or to carry guilt around because you aren’t being Christ-like.

It really is our individually unique spirit energy and it’s part of our creation. Once we accept that and honor it, we’ll find more friends than we knew we could ever have, and we’ll step aside from those friendships we “think” we “should” have.

ONENESS

I’m convinced that unity and Oneness scripture talks about is purely and individually internal. That’s where it actually happens. And the outward stuff simply follows.

Apparently, in spite of all the external signs at the beginning, Hunny and I are very equally yoked.

So, without any planning, that’s another holy cow that tipped over in my lifetime.

Blessings on your yokings.

Faith