A few years ago, Father took me on a journey to see my real Being, not my ego-based one.  It started with what I call a “flash” vision.  Like a flash, it was there one second and gone the next.  Since, I was in the middle of doing some household chores, I didn’t pay any attention.

Father said, “I just showed you something.”  And immediately I knew He had.  But what was it?  I’d missed it.  And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t remember it.

So, I sat down at my desk, closed my eyes, and searched my mind.   And the harder I tried to recall it, the more frustrated I became.  How would I ever know what Father had just shown me?

 

“Father, I can’t recall it.  Can you pull it back for me?”  I asked, and then I closed my eyes, tried to clear my mind, and waited.  Nothing happened.  I was trying too hard.  So, I went back to my chores.

The mind is a weird organ.  When I try too hard to think of something, it works the opposite.  But when I stop trying to think about something, it comes.  You know what I’m talking about.  It happens to us all.

Within a minute, I saw the flash again, and this time I caught a glimpse of something green.  But it was gone again too quickly.  So, I said: “Father, hold it in front of me so I can look at it closely.”  And then I went back to my chores, again.

Within another minute, it came again, but this time it was like wallpaper in my mind’s eye.  It stayed, like a movie frozen on one frame.  I was looking at something pale sage green with a slight design and a sheen.  “What is this?”  I thought.

 

Father said: “It’s fabric in your gown.”

Fabric?  What kind of fabric?  The sheen was rich and deep like a brocade but with the slightest pattern.  I’d seen something similar a couple years ago when my oldest got married.  Her gown was made of Dutchess Silk.

It was beautiful, ethereal, fantasy-like.  And as I studied it, I wanted to see the whole picture.  So, I asked Father to pan back a little and let me see the gown.

He did.

 

This article isn’t about the details of my gown, but rather what it represents and how difficult it was to see at first.

 

He was now showing me the real me.  The one He created and designed.  And He was using imagery that I could understand.  A gown and all the details.  Every part of the picture was an allegory or a parable telling the story of who I am.  It revealed character traits, gifts, and strengths that I possessed in my true Being.

Gradually, I saw accessories too.  A sword, a brooch, a ring and more.

Everything had meaning.  And He told me to do the research for those meanings because each item and color painted a picture of me beyond my imagination.  It was a grand, opulent, luxurious picture more beautiful than I could fathom at the time and it sent me to the floor, prostrate with humility.

 

“Who is this person?” I whispered to myself.  “How will I ever deserve to be her?”

I must be horribly arrogant to see myself in such beauty, and I sobbed repentantly until Father said “This is who you really are.  I want you to accept what I created.”

Whoa, this was going to be hard.

 

My ego had created a mental image of myself that wasn’t correct in any way.  It was self-aggrandizing and self-defeating at the same time.  The part I took pride in, was exaggerated.  And the rest was overly critical.  But it had been my Selfie for so long that I thought it was an accurate picture.

It wasn’t.  Not on any level.  It wasn’t made in Father’s image so there was nothing perfect about it.

 

This journey took a couple years because He only showed me small pieces at a time.  He is gentle, and He understood how difficult it was for me.  The Love Father puts into each tiny detail of His creation is literally overwhelming.  The superb perfection He designs into every molecule isn’t something I’d seen before in myself.  And He is the only one who can get the credit for it.

All I could do was humbly learn to walk upright in this regal, ethereal beauty.  Believe me, it took some time to stop being prostrate and stand upright.

This wasn’t an arrogance-building journey, but real, honest humility.  Not the kind that had put me prostrate on the floor, but the kind that walks upright in strength solely because of Him.

 

He unveiled the magnificent value of my life which my ego had portrayed in utter squalor.  I simply hadn’t known that’s what I was seeing before.

And there was more.

 

 

My true Being isn’t subject to laws.  None of them.  Not physical, scientific, governmental, or religious.  This Being is created in eternity and is only subject to Him (who is LOVE).  She exists to rule and reign her kingdom with Him.  And I’m learning how this works.

Living from this perspective of Being opened my eyes to the real meaning of scriptures that could only be interpreted dismally before.

Like I Corinthians 13, “The Love Chapter” which speaks about a powerful species of Love we can’t do or create.  And that’s because it’s Him.  We can’t say to ourselves “I’m going to be loving to everyone today” and then actually accomplish that goal.  It’s another egoic lie that we buy into and then become hypocrites for trying.  We offer a dismally insufficient kind of love with little to no power.

We can never conceive the extravagance and power of Him, who is Love.  He can only be experienced and embraced.

 

Our paths to ego’s death and awakened sight are unique paths.  But whatever process it takes, absolute beauty emerges.  We no longer see through a glass darkly, but see Him face to face, as we stand upright before Him in all our radiant glory.

Blessings on your unique journey to see your true Being.

Faith