“Why am I not healed?” Ah, yes, one of those questions that gets my brain battling between sides. Right side: “You are already healed, so believe and manifest it“. Left side: “Just stating the obvious facts here.”

I actually do believe that I’m already healed and that immoveable Faith in this Fact came to me through a most real vision years ago. In it, I floated inside Father. Sitting with my legs crossed, I watched everything he was doing and saying. And Father simply couldn’t see anyone except through the eyes of Love, which is the perfection of his thought when he formed and created each of us.

Whatever happens after that moment of creation may not manifest the Truth of Father’s reality because our vision may change to become centered on “realism”. We face it every day when we are tempted to believe that “reality” is absolute and unchangeable. And nothing else is true.

Father’s reality, His Truth, is the only absolute, unchangeable existence. And that’s because he never changes. It is The Kingdom reality and all other realities are subject to it and malleable by it. But he has given us dominion to wield that Kingdom reality upon this earth life existence. And we can only do so when we understand it.

The fall

My life was ticking along miraculously for several years while Father showed me the ways of The Kingdom. It was perfect. My life was perfect. And I wrote about it in my article Inside My Perfect Bubble-My Kingdom.

Then I got sick. And I’ve been struggling off and on for 2 years now. So, was I wrong? No. What I’d written and how I lived was absolutely true. And the reality of that Truth still exists within me. I know it’s still there.

But, we don’t stay in one place of understanding for the entirety of our journey. This life of an earth adventure is a field trip in our individual Divine classroom of learning and expanding. And one victory does not complete the expedition any more than one semester in school gets us a diploma.

So, these 2 years have been another journey into the wilderness for me. A place of intense learning. That fresh adversarial trial is what oddly makes us humans reach most intently, to the bottom of our very heart and soul. And whatever we discover there and decide the truth to be…then that will be our answer…for that moment. We may not have chosen a good answer, but no answer can be condemned because it is a rung on our private ladder. We walk it with only Father beside us. This journey requires no one else. Only Father, and he always lets us choose.

Why? Because no matter how it looks, whether there is death or suffering involved, there is a level of learning inside our every decision. And the weight of that learning is astronomically important in the eternal…AND on earth. These lessons hold the keys to The Kingdom. They unlock the doors of understanding how we create heaven on earth. And nothing else brings those miraculous keys to our grasp.

The pain

I have noticed that during the hardest challenges, when pain clouds my mind and I cannot even remember past lessons in order to bring them to bear, I am at my lowest level of victimhood. And I grasp my Father in desperation to remember the slightest instance of the miraculous. Those moments when I not only communed intimately with him but lived in such a way that the impossible became daily, seem so far away. The times when the “perfect” changed Matter so I could live in Paradise here and now, feel like a vague dream.

Pain is the greatest evil. My most intent enemy. It steals my memory and my understanding. Those are the times when I am tempted to adopt doctrines of the Community being my savior though it is not. Only he can be that. However, sometimes Father will guide me to a place of receiving a message through someone. I don’t make that decision. Rather it is just another instance of an oddity, of a unique and unusual leading from Father.

The leading

Once Father softly told me to visit a friend in another state and go to their church, where he would deliver his message to me through that Pastor (a man I’d never met). I even had to wait through the whole church service and then chase the man down afterward to present myself before him. It was at that moment this Pastor suddenly remembered he had a message for me. And, of course, it was exactly the right instructions for my moment. The Pastor had no idea what it was all about and neither did I. But I did it anyway. And it lead me gradually through my maze of chaos. Miraculously.

Can Father BE any more mysterious? I doubt it highly. He is a true master of the technique. But I see his point clearly. He wants me to know without question, that I did not concoct my answer in any way. It was only him, being my Father.

It is exactly the same reason I walk through wildernesses with him. It’s because he knows. He knows exactly what lesson I’m going to learn and why I need to learn it at this point in time. He knows. And I don’t.

That’s why he walks beside me at all times. He isn’t controlling every situation. Not at all in the way we’ve been taught. If anything, I am. And that’s simply because he made me ruler of my kingdom. I’m making decisions that bring results I don’t foresee. Or I’m simply walking through treacherous territory that can mean my death or suffering. But he knows. He’s seen it all and he knows how to overcome even the darkest evil.

It reminds me of a scene in “On Golden Pond” when Norman is piloting his boat through the extreme rocks of a cove with only the guidance of his grandson, Billy Ray, kneeling on the bow gazing into the water. That grandson is using Father’s technique.

I can’t actually hand over the steering wheel to Father as in the song “Jesus Take The Wheel”. Oh, that would be great. And I’ve tried, but he won’t take it. Nope, I have to keep steering, while staying in enough Peace that I can hear Father’s soft voice instructing me here and there.

The crest

Then eventually, there are the moments when I have endured the long haul for quite some time and finally he slips me a “Suddenly” as Joyce Meyer calls it. It’s one of those miracles. And it’s been a long time coming.

When this happens I know I’ve crested the summit of the challenge and the dawning of the Son is finally arriving.

So, what have I learned through these last 2 years? Oh my, it is definitely not just one thing but many. And so many scrolls through my mind at this moment. Each of them would require a book-length essay to tell. But you can be sure, now that I seem to be released to write again, there will be some of those topics to come.

So, am I healed? Yes. That is my wholeheartedly sincere perception which some would argue isn’t 100% accurate because of niggling remainders. But they haven’t walked where I have. They haven’t seen it.

Last night as I walked toward the bedroom to get ready to sleep, a message bubbled up from my heart into my mind. It was, “My life is perfect, completely perfect in every way. Physically, mentally, spiritually, practically, and in every way that pertains to my home, my family, and myself. Right now and onward I live in total Perfection”. It was like a spontaneous prophesy that I hadn’t premeditated but I could feel like a fire burning in my center. I could hear it speaking with a strength of confidence that I thought I had lost during these 2 years. But here it was, alive.

There was no argument between sides of my brain. This was a Fact. An indomitable Truth. And I declare simply, it is good to be in the land of the living; thriving and victorious. Breathing deeply satisfying breaths of freedom and glory.

So please, my friend, keep walking, even when you think you have no strength. And lay down in Peace when you need Rest occasionally. Just know that he has already overcome this one and he is whispering your instructions on where to turn and how to proceed. You will hear, and your Faith will grow stronger as you see his Grace carry you through.

Look up! Your Redeemer draws nigh!

Faith

faithlivingnow.com

---

Following is one of the many moments of Grace that Father gifted me recently. I hope you enjoy it.