I see that huge, bungling sack I’ve been dragging along behind me.  I noticed it right after that last battle.  The battle I fought to travel 3000 miles to see a dying friend.  It was a loud, bloody, angry battle of fear, but, thankfully, an Angel with armor and a spear came to fight for me.  His presence reminded me of the great importance of this journey and prompted me to choose a forward march rather than retreat in the face of fear.  However, even after that battle was over I was vaguely aware there was more to the skirmish than met the eye.  I might not understand all the meaning until later.  And so pieces of Wisdom keep floating to the surface of my life and becoming unwrapped before my eyes.  Now here’s this.

Now I see that thing laying there on the ground and I’m puzzled.  Why did I drag you behind me for so long and not see what I was doing?  I heard your voice saying “whew, your age must be kicking into gear big time because you sure seem tired a lot”.  And I wondered how that happened so suddenly.  I looked in the mirror and began to see it too.  Then asthma flared up.  Wow.  I haven’t had to deal with that anymore.  Or do I?  And now stomach distress.  Seems like an ulcer.  Sheesh, I haven’t had one of those since I was twenty-something.  These are stress related issues.  What’s going on here?  I sat down and seemed to sink deeper into the chair than normal.  And the blue sky didn’t seem so beautiful, it seemed tired too.

My friend had died.  She was worn out and tired and she decided it was time to go.  She wouldn’t try.  She refused to look away from her goal.  And I understood.  But it was the understanding that turned into an unforeseen temptation wrapped in a big, heavy sack filled with stuff like – old age, tired and worn out, not able to do what I used to do, your dreams have passed you by, and my Smile lay somewhere in the desert all alone where I left her.

In her place, I began dragging you!  A huge, bungling sack, the sack my friend was dragging.  And you killed her . . . by her choice.  She bought your snake oil whispers – “it’s inevitable, you’re getting old”.  She believed your chants – “you just don’t have the strength you used to have”.  She had fought lots of battles during her lifetime and during that last one you found her and convinced her to pick you up and drag you along like I’ve been doing.

Now here you are with me, still whispering, still chanting, still weighing a ton.  And I’ve been listening to you too.

Until now.  But, I see you now.  The moment of your exposure came purely accidentally in a conversation with another traveler about adventures and treasures of Wisdom won.  Then a momentary flash of Light, a glimmer of something familiar, and suddenly you were unveiled.  Humph.

In that moment, the exhilaration of falling shackles freed me to instantaneously recover my Smile.  She hadn’t been far away after all.   And in dropping your whispers that tied me to you, I discovered weightless Joy.  The sky is really truly gorgeous blue again.  And your big, ugly sack is the one being dumped in the desert.

I have unwrapped one more piece of the mystery.  My Smile is back on my face.  And this little treasure of Wisdom is getting stuffed into my pocket.  It’s quite significantly lighter than the sack.

I’m still knowing there are more pieces to unwrap, but today I’m satisfied with this one.