It seems I’m getting to know my dead spouse better than I did in 30+ years together. Maybe that’s because he isn’t dead. That was only his body. And now that he can see things more clearly, there’s a new aspect to his character: Profound wisdom and understanding. But he’s still using gifts he had. How can it be possible for our love to continue growing even more?

Even more so, when I look at his empty chair and remember him sitting there, I love him and miss him. But in the next second I begin to see that the person who used to sit in that chair is changed. Not only physically, but intellectually, and spiritually. He is still growing. And he’s dropped off some of the things that were holding him back. Maybe they were behaviors engraved into him as a child. Or prejudices he carried from traumas. And even identity patterns that don’t pertain to him anymore.

This is now a very different Hunny than the one I cherished. He’s more.

So, I don’t have to fear forgetting what he looked like. It doesn’t matter. I don’t have to miss his hugs, they are truly deeper than physical arms. And I don’t have to wish he could read my mind…he can.

No, this isn’t some delusion from the shock. Nor a fantasy born from a desperation. Neither is it the worship of the dead because I can feel him and hear him at times. They aren’t residual memories.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

We’re preparing a Life celebration party for him. And now I’m seeing that honorable tradition as fairly laughable. We’re going to celebrate only a fraction of what his Being is. Ironically, it’s a colossally inferior representation. It isn’t who he is anymore.

For years I’ve heard the phrase that we’re a spirit having an earthly experience, which is true. But we terribly underestimate the more enormous truth in that tiny statement.

Long ago I wanted to know the strength of Evil’s power compared to Father’s. So, Father let me see it. And his power was like an ocean compared to Evil’s raindrop. The comparison was quite ridiculous. And that’s also the truth about our reality.

I’m astounded! Absolutely bowled over by this newly found sight. And it is affecting other “truths” I’ve held.

For instance, sin isn’t the things we’ve done wrong in this life. Sin is a separation from God, yes, but in a way we weren’t told. It’s a separation of “seeing”. Like the pauper who didn’t know he was a prince, we are lives based on physical theatrics. But we are truly something so much more than an earthly prince or even the one who doesn’t know who he is. We don’t know that this is the sin….. to see from such a diminished perspective. Its like thumbing our nose at the gargantuan creation we actually are. THAT is the sin. One of misrepresentation. Of blindness. And the repentance we need? A cataclysmic opening up of our perspective to actually SEE. This is the “born again” we need.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I have to get to know Hunny… all over again. And it’s such a joy to do so. He’s gone from amazing into the miraculous. I love him. What a joy!

Thank you for sharing this small piece of my journey into new territory with Father right beside me.

Faith