I can trust

“I can trust thee, I do trust thee. O keep me abiding in Thyself.” by Andrew Murray in “Abide in Christ” pg 160.

In Kindergarten I discovered that I could resist anyone and anything by withdrawing and keeping myself separate. It was my first true aloneness. And in it, I accidentally found great power.

Through the years, during many more times of aloneness, I also discovered the One. And I knew that I was never truly alone.

Together, we were the One that carried me quietly, even covertly, high over great chasms of crisis where I could have easily been destroyed down below in the turbulence of the chaos.

***

It’s the same scenario today, all these years later, as I enjoy the small piece of paradise Hunny and I have created, the roiling waters of danger churn around me in our world.

Who can we trust? Who isn’t lying? And who will see the straight path through the darkness?

There are many possibilities and I know that it won’t just be one person, but many. Each one doing the piece they are inspired to do. And as Father knits those pieces together at just the right moment and in just the right way, a miracle will occur.

During aloneness, I watched and saw salvation doesn’t usually come in the hands of one man or woman. Jesus was the exception, and yet…he wasn’t. Salvation comes by the hands of several.

It’s the knitting together by Father that I trust because he brings together the one who dreams of the contraption, with the one who creates it, implemented by the one who carries it forward. This isn’t counting the many behind the scenes who have set up the perspectives to teach their children, to share with their friends, and enlighten those drowning below. They establish the wave that will carry the purpose. All of this is done by the inspiration of the Father who lives within us.

***

Late last week, I was invited by 4 girlfriends to go to dinner. I toiled over the decision, almost agreeing to go, but dragging my feet as I have done many times. Confiding in Hunny, he asked what I really wanted and I answered off the cuff. “I just don’t want to go.” It is partly because of my fondness for isolation, and partly because I’m so comfortable at home with Hunny. It seems selfish and I often feel guilty about it. But I’ve learned to accept what settles as unequivocal truth in my heart and soul. And this truth was that I didn’t want to go out of guilt. So, I didn’t.

This week my friends are all at home suffering from another bout of the virus. Prayers and blessings go out to each one.

I’m not going to classify my decision not to go to dinner. It hadn’t felt like a supernatural inkling. As I said, it had felt rather selfish. But it was the right thing for me to do. And I didn’t need to feel guilty for it.

Those who lecture me on isolating myself, don’t walk in my shoes. My path was orchestrated from the beginning. And I accept it as mine, uniquely. I can trust him.

If you ever feel alone in the crowd, step back just a little and wait. It might feel lonely there alone but be patient and wait. Enjoy the silence in the meantime. I think you’ll find a lot of power in that place of quietness.

Cause, you’re never alone. Wiggle your fingers. His hand is there. Hold it and let his warmth seep into your whole body.

Faith

2 thoughts on “I can trust”

Comments are closed.