Sometimes I get busy and forget about the amazingness of solitude alone at home with Father.  Without it, my heart and soul sink into a gray abyss of lack.  Lacking hope, lacking joy, lacking even the perception of The Kingdom and the vision of perfection here on Earth.  Like a car running out of gas.

It’s a stupid thing to let happen, especially when He and I are talking all the time.  But that busy talking isn’t like the amazingness of solitude at home.  It’s a place where I’m completely alone with Him and sit and breathe and let the world spin without me.

It’s where the miraculous is born.

The simplest and yet truest thing about a relationship is that it requires time alone.  Like a marriage.  Intimacy.  The private space of home.

Recently I took a trip and while driving, I spent time with Father in quietness and solitude.  And I told Him about the weird guilt that comes from needing to withdraw from people.  Like I’m thinking only of myself.  So, it must be wrong.

After all, there are people with questions to ask, and problems to share, and concerns to pray about.  How can I go away from them alone and ignore them?

Yes, we all know that Jesus walked away from the masses several times.  We understand it.  But we seldom give ourselves permission to do it because it seems selfish.

confirmation

We arrived at a friend’s house who has been in ministry for many years.  And in a private conversation, she said, “I want to walk away from the phone and ignore it.  I want to have a quiet time now with my husband, or simply be left alone.”  Her head was bowed and her eyes held shame as she whispered her secret to me.

Then a few days later, I shared a secret of my own with another friend.  It was a jealousy toward monks.  I wistfully imagine a life of isolation and silence and realize I’m jealous of them.  What they have is worth more than all the money I could imagine.  My friend agreed wholeheartedly.

I crave being alone with Father.  I deeply desire to have no one around.  Just Him.  Those touches we share.  The long silences of simply being together.  And oh, the warmth vibrating from Him and gracefully sliding into every atom of my soul like oil.

I don’t care if it seems selfish.  The need is bigger than all of life.  And I understand why Jesus did it.

This is the part of following in His footsteps, that is home.  This is the mansion He prepared for me, where I can dwell, and where everything I ask is given.  It’s the place of miracles.  Of nothing but lavish, over-the-top Love.

“…and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalms 23:6

It’s OK to go home……and shut the door……for as long as I need to stay.  I have His permission and His invitation.  He never meant for me to only go home after death.  Jesus went there in life.  I can too.

So can you.

With love,

Faith