Writing about The Kingdom is now a gift of unconditional freedom for me.  It’s comparable to a photographer who’s been given carte blanche to travel the world and photograph everything.

Carte blanche, a blank check, a free hand means no one is standing over my shoulder issuing directions, criticizing, correcting, or otherwise injecting their opinion or even their expertise. It all comes from within me without adulteration. But with that much freedom comes missteps, self-doubts, hardships and rising fears.

The first time Father asked me what I wanted, I was shocked and then scared. How could God ask me such a thing? I didn’t have the wisdom to be so daring. But he insisted. He wanted me to be daring. And he wanted to cover my back, support me, and love me, while I was venturing into unknown territory. He wasn’t going to dictate my journey anymore. Rather, he wanted to know what I wanted because it was time for me to grow, and he would enjoy watching me spread my wings in freedom. He would cover me, always.

So, he waited patiently for me to find the courage to say what I wanted. It was the first step without training wheels. And with each turn, I’d ask “Is this right?” But he’d reply, “I make all things right. You are free. I’ve got you covered.”

Bravery came but sometimes while my eyes were closed, my fingers crossed, and my teeth set. And true to his word, he covered me even when it appeared wrong. It always turned out right.

One of the greatest freedoms happened when I was writing “The Kingdom of God at Rose Rock“.  Father asked what I thought The Kingdom would look like on earth, and in my newfound courage, I focused on physical things like self-sustaining homes and gatherings without a hierarchical structure.  Then, I visualized a place where the miraculous was natural and normal.  But the thread that tied it all together was Father’s voice. Every person could hear it all the time without problem or exception. And those conversations happened all throughout the day.

The vision formed but, I couldn’t begin the first sentence.  And it was right about that time, that someone suggested a writing exercise on Facebook. It sparked my imagination with freedom.  The plan was to write one chapter and post it.  It could be anything at all. Then every few days write another chapter and another.  It was like permission to create whatever I wanted, just as Father had given me permission to be free in my journey.

But that nefarious blank-page fear hovered over me every morning, and I’d freeze up. So, putting my fingers on the keyboard, I closed my eyes and asked Father to help me.  Then I’d begin typing something….anything. Within moments a scene unfolded in my imagination and the story began.

I never knew what each chapter contained until I began typing.  Then like a spectator, I watched amazed as it flew forward. Oh, the exhilaration!

This Kingdom is within me but was nearly impossible for me to see it before Father’s gift of freedom.

I remember when my kids first rode their bikes without training wheels. I held onto their seat and ran beside them until the speed surpassed me. Then I’d watch my child, full of exhilaration mixed with fear, flying down the street. Of course, it wasn’t long before they showed off their no-hands stunts, their wheelies, and then the donuts. Any traumas of scuffed knees and bumped noggins faded instantly with the exhilaration.

With Father, mistakes and missteps are just like scuffed knees and bumped noggins. They fade instantly with the exhilaration. It’s the inherent joy that is freedom’s reward. He knows this even better than we know it with our own children. And the joy of watching is even greater on his face than on ours.

His arms are always there as ours were with those scuffed knees and bumped noggins. And then he covers it over with the encouragement to be brave again and again until we reach the reward.

Writing about The Kingdom became like daydreaming in living color. But the lesson wasn’t just about writing. It was about life and doing it also with this same freedom. Finding the courage to go without training wheels and ride with no hands because he was there to cover me. To toss aside my fears of mistakes or missteps of scuffed knees and bumped noggins because Father was always running beside.

It may sound like being given permission to run rogue. And without a safety net of leaders and advisers, what kind of mess will we be? This is true if we aren’t ready. A child doesn’t ride without training wheels until ready. And a young adult doesn’t move out on their own until ready. We do nothing until we’re ready. And Father knows exactly when we have arrived.

I used to write about The Kingdom based on my Bible or my Pastor. But those were training wheels. It’s not first-hand experience of The Kingdom inside me. So, when I was ready, the training wheels came off and Father ran along beside me.

Writing about The Kingdom then became one of my greatest gifts of freedom and exhilaration.

Blessings on your journey to freedom and exhilaration.

Faith