There’s a quality of The Kingdom that answers all my wants and needs.  I know how fantastical that sounds.  But it’s simply true.

Most of my life I’ve struggled to get prayers answered, just like many of my believing friends.  We prayed for everything at church every week but the answers were often about learning the grace to accept things the way they are.  And sometimes, after years of praying, we saw a few actually answered.

It’s very hard for some people to believe that I actually live inside a perfect bubble which I call my kingdom.  And anyone might think, well it’s just perfect for me but maybe not for them.  OK.  But, it really is perfect to me and the more I tell it how perfect it is, the more perfection develops.  It’s pretty amazing, to watch perfection become even more perfection.

Plus, I’ve never had a perfect life before so I’m extremely grateful and full of thankfulness.  This is an awesome way to live in my opinion.  I wish I’d understood it a long time ago.

I may not have millions of dollars, or a mansion, or such…at the moment.  But I have a family that’s happy and healthy, a home that makes me smile from ear to ear, and a computer with all the needed accessories to write.  I also have the finances, health, and means to take a trip now and then.  But more than all of those: I see Father’s Kingdom on earth right before my eyes.  A paradise of peace and beauty without hardship, turmoil, or chaos.

It isn’t because of what I’ve done unless you include how I’ve learned to agree with Father and His perfection.  

But how can anything be perfect in this fallen world?

Well, The Kingdom doesn’t live inside a fallen world.  It lives inside of me and you.  Each of us has our own piece of that miraculous pie at our fingertips.  It is where Father’s presence lives as One being with me.  It’s that place in me where we are never separated and can never be separated.

Sometimes I get busy and forget about the amazingness of solitude alone at home with Father.  Without it, my heart and soul sink into a gray abyss of lack.  Lacking hope, lacking joy, lacking even the perception of The Kingdom and the vision of perfection here on Earth.  Like a car running out of gas.

It’s a stupid thing to let happen, especially when He and I are talking all the time.  But that busy talking isn’t like the amazingness of solitude at home.  It’s a place where I’m completely alone with Him and sit and breathe and let the world spin without me.

It’s where the miraculous is born.

Very unexpectedly Father gave me dreams that brought back all the emotions and thrills of my first love.

I remembered the time I got ready for the day and knew my hair was perfect, my makeup was awesome, and I was rockin’ from head to toe. And all of it was because of his eyes.  They smoldered and got that look like his heart was melting right before my eyes.  I was cherished and loved more than anyone in the world at that moment, and I knew it.

The kingdom within me is everything that lives in my heart.  That means people and things I love.  It’s also all the things that touch my heart every day.

I used to think that The Kingdom of God was only God’s.  It belonged to Him and I was simply an inhabitant.  Like when I lived in Denver, I was a Denver-ite but the city didn’t actually belong to me.  I only claimed it as a resident.

Then a few light-bulb moments and a couple revelations later, I saw how The Kingdom of God was laid out.  

I heard a Physicist on TV say that dark matter “Is like peering into the unknown with a flashlight until we see the next thing.  And that next thing will be the place where we will peer into the unknown again.”  The process is always forward.

Father once said to me that all great spiritual movements of the world could have launched the next one.  Except, we plant ourselves on them and stop looking forward.

Dreams and visions have always been part of my life.  Everyone in the family had them at times and we believed in their messages but weren’t always good at deciphering them.

The first dream of consequence happened when I was 7 years old.  It simply depicted a pretty church with a steeple and stained glass windows, suddenly falling across the road in an earthquake.  It was frightening and scared me.

So what happens when you’re finally living in pure Peace and someone comes along introducing chaos?  Shock, surprise, annoyance, pushing back, and maybe a glass of wine?

They might not be the best responses for us to take, but who’s judging?  Especially since I did them all.

I like to think I’m an awesome, loving Christian and that people are healed from their chaos when pulled under my blanket of peace.  I’ve seen it happen, but it wasn’t always a quick process and it didn’t always happen overnight.

Recently a friend posted a note saying he’d come to a place of complete comfort in his Being.  My heart leaped with joy as he described what I have also been experiencing.  And the longer the post remained, the more people joined the conversation with stories of similar experiences.

Arguments and debates around scripture are long past, relegated to a different stage of experiencing God.  And it’s simply not a place we can return to and participate from anymore.

A few years ago, Father took me on a journey to see my real Being, not my ego-based one.  It started with what I call a “flash” vision.  Like a flash, it was there one second and gone the next.  Since, I was in the middle of doing some household chores, I didn’t pay any attention.

Father said, “I just showed you something.”  And immediately I knew He had.  But what was it?  I’d missed it.  And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t remember it. Continue reading SOME OF MY JOURNEY FROM EGO TO TRUE BEING →