The Apocalypse was something we grew up talking about and secretly worrying about. Where would it happen? Over there? Or right here? And maybe it was really about the economic crisis, or a political one. It might even be a religion or denomination.
Whoa boy, talk about the shock as it happened inside my heart. Bombs and destruction. How would I survive this?
“Babylon the great has fallen!” in Revelation 18:2 was about spiritual idols. And I’d held a bunch of them close all my life without being aware of them. The whole time I was looking around for the Apocalypse, it was just waiting to begin when my holy cows began tipping over.
Do you remember “Pagan Christianity” by Frank Viola and George Barna? It certainly caused an explosion inside me. And oddly, I knew it was coming so it took tremendous courage for me to read it. But that was only one in a million things that caused the Apocalypse.
The hunger for truth is stronger than fear. It continues working in our hearts and minds for as long as it takes for us to submit. And one day, we all will.
Many of my spiritual idols crashed to the ground in a fiery blaze. And some of them caused explosions. But ohhh, the elation after each one! Their destruction set me free from something I didn’t even know was a bondage. And then another would come.
One explosion was the ticket to a conference. I’d been to many of them in my day and they were always free. So imagine my surprise when I discovered they were not free AND the tickets were exorbitant? Who was earning their living through this thing that felt like extortion?
Was it the speakers? Those guys I had wanted so desperately to hear their new revelations? Were they making a living off my desperation? Was there a snake hiding in the bliss of belonging to a tribe? What if I was left behind, everyone else got this pearl of great price and I did not! Like the 5 foolish virgins who didn’t have enough oil. How horrible to be left outside when the door was closed. It scared me. For a minute.
Then Father told me His revelations were free and He’d give me what they had and more! Whoa! All I had to do was continue following Him into Armageddon. And not fear. He promised to keep me safe and guide me. And He promised even greater things.
Well… I was ALL IN!!! I was ready to saddle up my horse and blaze a new trail. This would be awesome!
And it was! Until I started sharing revelations and then the bombs began falling. My friends were angry and mean. You know those guys that smile all the time and tell you how beautiful you are? They didn’t like my illuminations, especially when it affected their conferences and book sales. It was “not loyal” of me.
They threw grenades and shot live ammo. There was blood, and chaos, and evil all around me. My whole world was ablaze and devastated. This was Apocalypse!
And suddenly I realized that their snake in the garden was biting me till I died. Then they expelled me from their hypocritical garden and crucified me unjustly on their self-righteous cross.
But apparently no one got the memo that said I am redeemed and resurrection is mine. It didn’t occur to them that I’d keep getting up to go get more truth to share.
“ From now on, don’t let anyone trouble me with these things. For I bear on my body the scars that show I belong to Jesus.” Gal 6:17
“My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Gal 2:20
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There were a million other explosions in my Apocalypse that I didn’t include in this story. They were just as life changing as the ones I’ve shared.
Ironically, I didn’t know when Jesus put that pencil in my hand years ago, that it would take me through such turmoil. But He actually lead me here. And that’s because Babylon had to fall, my idols had to crash because I wanted to experience Oneness with Him. It wasn’t in the community I’d thought held my bliss, rather it was on the other side with Him. True bliss.
He knew the results of the Apocalypse was Resurrection Life with Him. He knew it lead to the real Garden.
I think I’ve learned what it means not to fear those who can kill the body.
Blessings on your journey of Resurrection!
Faith
Yes sis… I also have had Idols exposed and brought down in my life, one being something I was taught early on after I was born of the Holy Spirit in 1978 (was not raised in a church), we have to have a Ministry for God to be a good Christian. When Father called me out of Pagan Christianity in 1989, the Pastor prophesied my Ministry would be destroyed if I left his Church. I told Him I Minister to our Lord first and foremost and am led from that place as the Holy Spirit empowers me and as I did so, Father told me He wanted me to let go of my vision for my life so HE could show me His. As He showed me His Vision-Plan Father said He wanted me to live a life totally consecrated to Him, just as Jesus did during a time of deeper sanctification; Jesus had already shown me some Idols and false teachings and inherited traditions of men which were carnal in nature. I write about this in our Free Books which can be found through a link in my website. After I left there was a Church split and eventually that Pastors Church came to an end.
Having become a New Creation in Christ, I have been brought to a greater spiritual understanding experientially, the entire old man died and through our Union we become who we are created to BE as one in whom He lives and moves as has HIS BEing… it is no longer the “I” Ego who lives but the Spirit of Christ. When we died with Christ we were also raised with Him and thus when we are born anew we are born OF His Holy and Righteous Spirit, with the faith OF Christ that brings us into a Knowing that causes us to enter into HIS Rest.
Thank you for sharing your story, Bren. I love hearing the stories of how Father leads people on the path He had for them all along. It’s quite an adventure. Sometimes scary perhaps, but in the end always so full of freedom to become who we really were meant to be.
Blessings as you continue forward. I’m always excited to see where it leads.
Me too Sis…. and yes you are right it can be scary! I so remember Him telling me, ‘If you can’t trust Me who can you trust, my sheep hear my Voice, trust me to confirm that which I say to you, what I am going to do, with signs following.’ I remember thinking whenever a scary situation came about, ‘I must face this fear and trust You to get me to the other side of it victorious.’ I had no idea how many fears ruled my thinking before this. In the end I came to the realization in truth we have nothing to fear… He’s got this. Then I saw a Star Trek Voyager Episode, where the closing scene in ‘The Thaw’ Episode where fear is exposed as an illusion: Captain Janeway speaking to fear: “You know as well as I do, fear only exists for one purpose to be conquered.” Fears response in part “What will become of me.” Her reply, “Like all fear you will eventually vanish” Fear’s reply, “I’m afraid….” Janeway, “I know…” Fear, “Drat”.
[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEnHrzpVKN0&w=640&h=390]
Right there with you in armeggedon!
Fires a blazin’ All around when I realized they are selling his Revelation too. Thanks to what you’ve shared. Will I become like lucifer once I know my own power and authority? That on burned on for a bit. Total mistrust of myself….. Mostly my own heart on fire in there too, refining it to pure gold so I can trust the way he designed me. He is enough. In me…. He is SO worth the price. I love him with all my heart. This fire is all consuming…