It was an odd day when I began seeing the other gods.  They’d been there all my life but I hadn’t looked this closely.  Very few people in my circles had looked either.  So, it felt weird to finally see what they were.

“Thou shalt have no other gods before me.” Exodus 20:2

 

We thought it was simple to see other gods and know what they are, but it isn’t.   Some of them stand there on their pedestals right in front of us for everyone to see.  Yet even while we are polishing them, we don’t recognize what they are.

 

The key word in the commandment is “before”.  It seems to create a picture that the other god is in the foreground, nearly superimposed over the real God.  It is rather transparent so we can see God, behind it.  But we don’t realize the “before” god is in front of God.  We aren’t really seeing Him face to face.  Sometimes it even looks like He is inside the god, inherently part of it.

 

It’s like church.

Church was everything.  Nothing took as much attention, energy, heart, or finances, as church.  And no one could stand in my way, from church.

After all, God was there.  We sang and talked about His presence in this place. We asked Holy Spirit to come and move inside our meetings.  Songs and dances, sermons and altar calls, prophesy’s and interpretations, revelations and visions.  90% of them happened there, inside church.

It really was the only place I knew to meet with God.  Everywhere else was “the world”.

 

We thought that God’s presence would be there because we had built a building and dedicated it to worshiping Him.  So, of course, this was where He would be.  And the rest of our time was the business of life.   It got a little in the way, on our way to church.

Of course, NOW we know He doesn’t live inside a building. 

Still, habits and rituals are hard to break.  So, we changed the name of it.   Now it’s called ekklesia, or community, or tribe.   And we reconfigured His presence inside the building so that He is the people, the group, rather than the building.

Our unity brought the power to heal us and prosper us, we thought.  THIS is where we had spiritual fathers to teach us the wisdom of God.  We functioned as a unit.  The body.  And this was God.

Strangely we spent a lot of time in tears, repenting, or surrendering so His presence would manifest.  Sometimes we’d manage to touch Him.  Then we’d dance and sing.  Still, healing and miracles were rare.  So we sang harder, danced harder, memorized scripture more, and sought Him longer.  We had to ask, and keep on asking.

 

Then one day the pastor died.  And we’d done everything a good church could possibly do to get his healing.  But it didn’t come.  And he didn’t raise from the dead.  And none of the visions and dreams came true.  Our prayers felt like they were bouncing off the ceiling.  But no one talked about THAT.

I said, “God, this isn’t right.  Something is wrong.  No matter how hard we cry, or pray, or worship… very little changes.  We appear to be victims of life without much power, without much God at all.  We desperately need more of You.”

 

And slowly my journey began.

My life didn’t immediately change or my Christian habits and rituals.  The church tried to hang on, but eventually it died too.   And it felt alone  without community, or tribe.  It felt sad.

I tried other churches but it wasn’t the same.   I was still alone.

So, Hunny and I decided to be our own church watching TV preachers and chasing their occasional visits to our city.  We prayed our repetitive prayers, and studied and took notes.

In a few years, most of the rituals had faded away.  We still believed, and occasionally we still prayed together.

But I remembered.

Long ago I’d heard God’s voice audibly.  Nothing like that had happened since.  I knew He was still in my life, and occasionally something wonderful would happen, but I still wanted more.

So, I talked to Him as I’d drive.  I told Him I wanted to hear Him, not just once in a big display like the audible voice.  But every day in personal conversation.  To know it was Him.

I began talking to Him about everything.  Jabbering as I drove about which way to turn, or where I should stop for lunch.  Menial chatter meant to engage Him, while hoping He would speak and I’d hear Him.

 

Then one day I heard a response inside my mind.  It was so soft I almost missed it.  But the words weren’t mine.  I hadn’t thought them.  They were extra, like they came from somewhere else.  Like someone else’s thought had intruded.

“Is it You?” I asked.  And He answered.  A conversation began.  Questions and doubts and more answers flowed freely over the days and weeks.  It was really Him.  And He proved it by His great Love.  No one Loves the way He Loves.

 

The sadness over loss of community began to recede.  I didn’t have  leaders to hear my questions and I didn’t need someone to interpret His messages.  This was a direct pipeline.  I could never go back.

It’s like a door, once opened, can never be closed.  A secret, once known, can never be unknown.  A word, once spoken, can never be unspoken.

I tried to go to church a few times and then gave up.  It was pale and weak in comparison to what I had now.  And I couldn’t pretend He wasn’t there.  I couldn’t push Him back behind the veil.

Conversations lead to revelations.  Insights I’d never known or heard before.

 

The other day I saw a comment about the bliss of community, and I was astounded at my change.  He’d changed me so gently and subtly and slowly. No church, or community, or tribe could ever compare.

I still remember the veil superimposed over His face.  And the clawing, tearful desperation for Him.  We stayed behind the veil, never breaking through to this.  Always needing each other to hear and to see, and to guide through the fog.

Oh, the desperate addiction to the community for another fix.

 

And now they get mad at me when I talk about this.  It seems rude, like a slap-in-the-face to them who are still there.  It looks arrogant, or impossible, or a scam to discredit them.  In the least, they are sad for me because I lost the bliss of community.

There is a price to obtain the pearl.

 

And I have to share the experience because it really happened.  I didn’t make it up and it’s not a lie.  I have to share it because there are others who have also come to this place.  They know what I know.   But they also want to  know they aren’t the only ones.

He is in all things because He created all things.  And He is living out loud inside me.

I’m never desperate for more of Him because He’s already here, in my face, beside my arm, touching my heart, speaking to my mind, showing me visions and dreams that mean something.  And even more.  Healing and miracles.  They’re here in His presence, manifesting every time.

And when I ask, I receive.  Just like it says in scripture.

 

For those who believe but are still desperate, I tell this story to encourage you to be brave.  He is right there waiting for you to shed everything, laying aside “the weight that besets you”.  Scripture calls it sin to have anything before Him.  And it seems odd that we can’t see it while we are inside it.

These other gods and their veils are subtly deceitful.

 

But it isn’t something to fear.  It’s simply the magic we do inside our own mind when we aren’t ready to let go of an illusion.   We create it to feel secure even when that security is a curtain we pull over our own eyes.

It’s fear of the unknown.

 

Father asked if I wanted to go forward, and I knew I’d see things that might frighten me.  So, I had a condition.  I asked Him, if it was possible, to take me forward, to show me everything, “but please don’t scare me”.

I wasn’t very brave.  But He didn’t mind.

In His great Love, He honored my request.  And when some time had passed, I took down the condition myself.  I’d traveled far enough, seen enough, experienced enough to be confident that I’m safe with Him.  He really is right here and there’s nothing bigger than Him.  I can trust Him.

 

There is no other god before Him.  We really can see Him face to face.  It doesn’t have to be through a glass darkly.

 

I know now that, “when” we see Him face to face, doesn’t mean when we die.  It means, when we trust Him enough to step forward, lay it all down, and risk everything.

 

Blessings on your journey to see the other gods today.

Faith